Coffee Toffee and Brandon Morrow

When the Mariners drafted Brandon Morrow number five overall in 2006, I was really excited. I may have been excited because he was a high pick or because he was a college pitcher so supposedly he was closer to the majors. Or maybe it was the mid-to-high 90s fastball. In any case, Morrow provided an anticipation and excitement that could not be matched.

Until this weekend.

The Wendy’s sign read: “New Coffee Toffee Frosty”.

What? Unbelievable.

Now I am not a fast food addict or even frequenter anymore since the twenty pound weight loss of 2007-08. But if I am to eat some fast food, that fast food will be super fast and super Wendy’s. I love me some nuggets and have always loved me some Frosty. For years and years, Adam and I debated the Frosty. In the early 2000s (maybe the year 2000 itself), Adam claimed it to be ridiculous to call the Frosty a “chocolate Frosty” as I did often. I claimed that there were different flavors. Unfortunately if we take Wikipedia as a credible source – and why wouldn’t we? – then Adam is correct. The vanilla frosty was introduced in 2006.

Now they have Mix N’ Match Frosty and the brand new “Coffee Toffee Frosty”. So we know I love frosties and I love coffee flavored ice cream even more, so this is like drafting Brandon Morrow. I couldn’t wait to see him pitch. Throw in the toffee flavoring and it is like when the Mariners announced Morrow would start last season. Could it get any better?

Similar to the fiasco that is Brandon Morrow, the “Coffee Toffee Frosty” severely disappointed. Essentially I was drinking milk with chunks of something in it. I might as well suckle a cow. And Morrow might as well go to Tacoma because all he does in a Mariner uniform is make excuses. So my hope is that Morrow will take the time and the organization will give him the time to become a legit major league starter. To Morrow’s credit, he stated that he doesn’t mind if he spends the rest of the season in AAA if it means really refining all his pitches.

If only Wendy’s would take the same approach. Then maybe I could enjoy the “Coffee Toffee Frosty” and not be disappointed. Dave Thomas, you disappoint me. Brandon Morrow, I still have hope for you.