Safeco Love

Let me open by saying this plainly and simply. I don't like Safeco Field.

The actual stadium and field is fantastic, it is the surrounding environment that drives me insane. The Mariners are a fan-friendly franchise, priding themselves on the wholesome family environment. This is why "Yankees Suck" t-shirts are banned from the park. This is why section 106 is a family section with no alcohol allowed. Hydroplane races on the big screen. Hat trick. The Mariner Moose. Dancing grounds crews. All family fun.

And I hate it.

I want booing. I want angry, upset fans who curse at Milton Bradley. I want stadium graphics that encourage lunacy, not recycling (did I forget to mention Captain Planet who encourages you to pick up and recycle your empty bottles?). Give me hate, give me anger. Give me something.

Saturday night I found something. It may be a small start, but I will take it. The Mariners have a new monthly promotion called "College Night" and it is genius.

I walked into the stadium and saw 35,000 people at a Padres game and couldn't understand what the hell was going on. Then I kept seeing hot college-aged girls at the game and I became even more befuddled. It took me until the 5th inning to remember the promotion. $7 tickets for college students and they all get wasted at the game. The crowd showed up and actually booed the right people and cheered without prompting from the screen. I felt inspired.

Add onto this the fact that people vehemently booed Richie Sexson the night before after his third strikeout and I felt hope.

Maybe there are some real baseball fans here. Maybe Safeco won't always make me want to stab myself with a rusty screwdriver.

I actually like it when the M's hit a homer and they call it a "Funk Blast" and play "We Got the Funk" by George Clinton. I don't know why I like it, but it works for me. I liked the AM/PM promotion when some guy won 106 bags of cornnuts and the Moose poured them all over him. And I really liked the ninth inning.

As J.J. Putz strolled to the mound, he had closer music. YES! Glorious closer music. Thunder! Nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah. Thunder! For the first time that I can remember, our closer has closer music. AC/DC. Awesome.

Now if only they would stop playing Willie Fing Bloomquist every time I go to a game, we might have something here.