Dear Sporting KC....remember when.....Love Sounders FC

The Seattle Sounders FC will have their hands full this weekend at Livestrong Park in Kansas City as they face the team with the third best record in the East in Sporting KC. While many eliminate eastern teams as lesser quality than the western squads, this Kansas City team is rolling right now in MLS play. They have not lost in thirteen straight matches in Major League Soccer action including a win over Real Salt Lake by a score of 2-0 last week. While the Sounders pulled off an almost equal streak recently, the boys suffered a 3-1 defeat at Houston last Saturday after an embarrassing 7-0 loss to Manchester United (which resulted in 30 minutes of my father-in-law absolutely slamming the Sounders and then Man U) and a 1-0 loss to San Francisco of Panama (stop stealing our cities!) in Champions League play. Note: My guess is Panama had San Francisco first. Another reason to hate the 49ers.

Without having seen Kansas City play since their last MLS defeat in Seattle (1-0 Sounders win on May 21^st), it is hard for me to comment on what is making them so successful. It appears that 21 year old Canadian forward Teal Bunbury (fantastic name) is heating up quickly with goals in his past two contests. With five on the year, the back four of the Sounders will need to be solid to gain points on the road.

The back four of the Sounders has been the problem in the past few matches as the Sounders surrendered eight goals in the past three MLS matches. The injury to Jhon Kennedy Hurtado proved to be crucial in this poor spell as he exited in the 56 minute of the Timbers game and the Sounders have tried different middle backs ever since. Patrick Ianni got a shot as did Zach Scott last night in the Champions League victory. Who knows who will show up there on Saturday as well as Scott possibly playing on the outside in a battle with Leo Gonzalez and Tyson Wahl. The lack of consistency among this back four has hurt the Sounders in recent matches.

Much of the Sounders offensive success comes from the beautiful, long haired flopper known as Mauro Rosales. His ability to control the ball, see the field, and create for others is as good as any player in the MLS. When he plays well, we seem to score and score a lot. While we sat and cried early in the year about the lack of offense (see: Nate Jaqua starting), the Sounders now sit second in MLS in scoring (35 goals while the Red Bulls have 38).

Side note: is there a better midfield crew in MLS with Rosales, Friberg, Alonso, and Fernandez (imagine Zakauni instead!)

If the Sounders can get on the board in the first 30 minutes, I think Sporting Kansas City may press a bit based upon their low scoring affairs in the past and we can pull out three incredible road points. If it ends up 0-0, I will punch myself in the face and then high five myself afterwards for having to sit through a scoreless tie and still gaining a point. Of course, the other option is to simply yank the hearts and souls out of Sporting KC as we did on May 21^st with a 93^rd minute Jeff Parke header or the year before with the Brad Evans pretend-I-am-not-45-yards-down-field-from-the-spot throw in to Mike Fucito for a game winner. It would be fun to watch them simply retire collectively as a team at the final whistle.

Sounders Recap (5/23)

- The Colorado Rapids according to their website apparently live with the motto, “Heart. Pride. Honor.” I think their marketing department watches a bit too much Gladiator.

- With a name like Rapids, I would assume the mascot would be some sort of tidal wave, yet I see a fox of some sort. And it is taunting the Sounders fans in attendance by waving a scarf. After doing some research, I learned a lot of disturbing mascot information.

First, the fox is Franz the Fox. From the website:
The fourth, and newest member of the Rapids Mascots, Franz is a Vulpes vulpes, or as they are more commonly known, a red fox! Franz is a defender, and will wear the Rapids' third kit, as well as the #5 on the back of his jersey. The red fox is native to Colorado and tends to make its habitat near human-populated areas, such as the Rocky Mountain Arsenal Wildlife Refuge, which is adjacent to Dick's Sporting Goods Park! The Rapids chose Franz to be part of their mascot crew for the reason that red foxes are very territorial, very loyal, and extremely quick on their feet as part of their nature.....the same qualities that make a superb defender!

Are you serious? They make him sound like a God. Yet according to National Geographic the red fox will eat pet food or garbage. Enjoy eating garbage Franz. And why is his name Franz? Is Franz a common name in Commerce City (more to come on that later)?

It gets worse.

The Rapids have four fricking mascots. Along with Franz the Garbage Eating Fox, they feature Edson the Eagle (a midfielder), Marco Van Bison (a forward), and Jorge El Mapache who is a stupid raccoon. What is going on?

It gets even worse.

Again from the website.

What Happened to RapidMan?
RapidMan, the club’s former mascot, made the 4th of July, 2007, his official retirement date. After being part of the club since the team's inception in 1996, RapidMan announced plans to pursue other ventures. The Rapids held a Testimonial Match in RapidMan's honor at halftime of the Rapids' July 4 game. In the soccer world, it is traditional to hold a testimonial match in recognizance of a player who gives 10 years or more of service to his club, and as RapidMan had served the Rapids organization for 12 seasons, the Rapids invited in several of RapidMan's fellow mascots from around Denver and the world to participate in the game.

Do they know RapidMan was a mascot? This is really pissing me off. Foxes cannot grip scarves. This is a poor representation of animals for the children.

On to the other notes.

- Steve Zakuani looked overmatched for most of the game. Without Ljundberg and Alonso (who left one minute into the match), he was constantly pressured, double teamed, and beat up. He didn’t respond for much of the match, but did have a couple opportunities late. Makes sense as a rookie.

- Early in both halves, the Sounders had very little possession. When they did, they looked pretty good. And they possessed the ball for most of the last twenty minutes where they had numerous chances but couldn't convert.

- James Riley is very valuable. He wins balls, serves great ones down the sideline and created both goals with awesome crosses.

- Montero scored and assisted the other goal, but he is really a scorer only in my opinion. He lacks the ability to possess the ball and dives way too much. With that said, I am glad he is on the Sounders. Confusing? Yes. Why? I am an idiot.

- Nate Jacqua doesn’t do much, little skills with feet. Never seems to get his head on the ball despite that being his strength. At the same time, he scored the game tier when the game looked all but over. So what do I know? More confusion. Awesome.

- Colin Clarke – I hate. No confusion there.

- Cummings running wild and free down sideline in the first half. Crossing everywhere. Similar to how RapidMan would play I assume.

- Keller – two ridiculous saves. One on Conor Casey header. The other with foot one on one with Mastroeni. Then says, “What the f are we doing?” Except he didn’t say “f”.

- Apparently Keller likes mascots more than I do.

- The Sounders miss Alonso and Ljundberg a lot. And I am Captain Obvious.

- Somehow the Sounders tied this match. Despite the fact that they know have drawn in four straight matches, this was a good result. Without Alonso, Ljundberg, and Evans, this was what they needed.

- On June 20th, the Rapids will be featuring the “2009 Festival of Women”. Do they know how that sounds?

Sounders Preview (Eat it Joe)

Despite pleas by Joseph Tone (a.k.a. The Shortest Man Who Buffalo Hates), I am here to give a preview of the match tonight between the Sounders FC and the Colorado Rapids. You see despite my shortcomings as a player, I grew an affinity toward soccer (or futbol) throughout the years. This fondness (I wouldn’t go as far as say love) of soccer grew even if my knowledge friend Luis did not. He stayed 5’7.

When Dana said she wanted to get season tickets to something, I didn’t hesitate. Thus I am a season ticket holder, next to Luis, behind the goal at Qwest Field. Amazingly so are 21,998 others. 22,000 season ticket holders and a sell out every game. Unprecedented in MLS history including Toronto who has about 16,000 season ticket holders. Then on our trip to London, Dana and I stayed at a flat only blocks away from Emirates Stadium, home of Arsenal. Everyone loves soccer in England. It was infectious.

So the Sounders head into a match tonight in second place in the Western Conference behind the mighty Chivas. With a 4-2-3 record, the Sounders have 15 points while Colorado sits right behind with 12 points (3-2-3). Unfortunately for the Sounders they have a few things going against them tonight.

Freddie Ljundberg, international hottie (holler! Oh uh, nothing, ignore that), still has migraines (seriously? migranes?) thus he did not travel with the boys. National hottie Brad Evans (what? stop), recently featured as a hot player by Cosmo Girl (what an honor), also will not be traveling. Neither will Zach Scott but who cares? He isn’t even hot.

On to heterosexual commentary.

These losses will hurt the Sounders obviously. The return of John Legend (or James Riley as he is normally known) should help and without anyone getting a red card for this first time in weeks, the Sounders should have everyone else available.

Yet after starting the year 3-0-0, the Sounders lost two in a row before winning a match and then pulling out draws in the past three. Obviously any result on the road is a good thing, but those who saw the second half of the last game against FC Dallas spoke of the putrid nature in which Los Sounderos played. The Sounders need to step it up from the level of play they have shown the past few weeks. They need Fredy Montero to be a threat again. They need LeBron to play like 6th year LeBron. (For those wondering….LeBron is Steve Zakiuani, #1 overall pick from Akron….nuff said).

Maybe the Sounders will get some solid play from Peter Vagenas (I will resist the comments), who will be starting and appearing in his first game this year. A veteran of eight seasons with the LA Galaxy and brief appearances with the national team, Vagenas could provide a little of what Ljundberg does. Maybe not, but he along with Alonso could provide some good ball control in the midfield.

The X factor for the Sounders continues to be Kasey Keller. No matter how poorly they play, the Sounders will have a chance to earn points because of the dominance of the Lacey native. He will be up against some formidable foes tonight as the Rapids are led by ex-Portland Pilot Conor Casey (and former awful U.S. soccer mistake), who is 2nd in the MLS with five goals in just eight matches. Colorado also features Pablo Mastroeni and Cory Gibbs, who both earned time with the national team.

And guess what? Tonight is Asian-Pacific Heritage Night! The first 2,000 fans get a free poster of Kosuke Kimura! Holla! Kimura is the first Japanese player in the history of the MLS. And of course he attended Western Illinois University, home of the Leathernecks. And how do they honor Kosuke? By not starting him. Awesome.

Prediction? Since I hate Conor Casey…..2-1 Seattle.