Caw, Feed the Hawks!

The 2007 Seattle Seahawks open their season officially with the first preseason game on national television this Saturday night against the San Diego Chargers. With the media and all of my friends predicting the San Francisco 49ers, Arizona Cardinals, and even the Saint Louis Rams to win the division, it is time for the Hawks to prove everyone wrong.

People write off the Seahawks despite going to the Super Bowl only two seasons ago and one overtime away from reaching the NFC Championship game last season. That all happened with Matt Hasselbeck and Shaun Alexander missing significant time throughout the year. What if Tom Brady and Laurence Maroney had missed the same amount of games last year? Or Peyton Manning and Joseph Addai?

Nevertheless people will believe what they wish. The fact remains that this team won three straight division championships and reached the playoffs the past four seasons. The only other teams to make the playoffs the past four years are the Indianapolis Colts and the New England Patriots. The Seahawks will win the division again and be a force in the NFC.

Is the division improved? Yes. Are the other teams better than the Seahawks? Absolutely not.

To further examine, let's take a look at the Seattle offense.

In a division packed full of high-powered offenses, the Hawks have the edge in experience if not explosiveness. Quarterback Matt Hasselbeck returns after a season full of injuries. After leading Seattle to a 4-1 start, E.J. Henderson tried to "Theismann" Hasselbeck and end his career. Fortunately it was only a MCL sprain, but nonetheless he missed almost five games. He returned only to break multiple fingers on his left hand, injure his ribs, and tear his labrum. Despite all of this, Hasselbeck threw for 2442 yards and 18 touchdowns. He returns healthy now and while missing his old favorite target in Wide Receiver Darrell Jackson, will now have a full season of chemistry with wideouts Nate Burleson and Deion Branch.

The silver lining of the Hasselbeck injury proved to be the play of Seneca Wallace. Even though the team only went 2-2, Wallace threw for nearly 1000 yards and eight touchdowns. Most teams will take that from a back up quarterback. Wallace proved he can be the back up quarterback and if (oh please no) Hasselbeck were to go down again, he can do the job. While he is no Steve Young, he certainly isn't Jim Sorgi either. David Greene will need to have a good camp to cement the third string position and thus far he is achieving that. If he ever plays in a game, the season is over anyway.

With the emergence last season of Frank Gore and Stephen Jackson, the running back position in the NFC West no longer belongs to Shaun Alexander as the king. Just don't tell him that. When asked on the radio where fantasy owners should draft him, Alexander responded, "it depends if the person wants to win." Laughing he continued, "if you want to win, draft me first." Never one to lack confidence or hunger for touchdowns, Alexander's foot now is healed and he seems hungry to return to his status among the elite. If statistics tell the story then watch out. But if age tells the story, then the Hawks may struggle to run the ball. He will be 30 years old this season and not many thirty-somethings do much running the football in the NFL. Yet it is hard to ignore these numbers when healthy.

In 2001, he put up 1318 yards with 14 touchdowns. He followed that up with 1175 and 16 touchdowns the next year. In 2003, Alexander racked up 1435 yards with 14 touchdowns only to trump that with 1696 yards and 16 touchdowns the next season. The MVP year of 2005 was simply ridiculous with 1880 yards and 27 TDs. Then 896 yards and 7 touchdowns last year in only ten games. Yet the biggest concern last season involved the yards per carry (3.6). Every other year listed above he carried 4.0 or higher per carry including 4.8 in 2005 and 5.1 in 2006.

The success of Shaun may rely most on the offensive line. His MVP year involved a great line that played together for years in left tackle Walter Jones, left guard Steve Hutchinson, center Robbie Tobeck, right guard Chris Gray, and right tackle Sean Locklear. Jones, Gray, and Locklear remain on the squad, but the other two positions now are held by youngsters. Center Chris Spencer is entered his third year and guard Rob Sims comes into his second year. They are both held in high regard and seem to be doing well in camp, but Hutch and Tobeck both made Pro Bowls so they have big shoes to fill. (Spencer wears a size 17 shoe, yes!) Ray Willis apparently is pushing Gray for time at the right guard spot, but his value may be best felt filling in as a back up at either tackle spot. When Floyd Womack remains healthy (never) he backs up both guard spots and Tom Ashworth provides a veteran presence as a back up also. A couple young guys provide depth but will never see the field if this team is successful.

If the starters at the line positions can remain healthy and play together, Alexander can have a good season. And if he does well, we shouldn't see too much of Maurice Morris. He remains a decent change of pace back and can run after the catch, but it is doubtful the Hawks' coaches want him playing too much. Meanwhile Mack Strong returns for his 87th season as fullback, but Leonard Weaver may get some time there as well. Coaches, fans, and players alike all rave about the ability of Weaver and he may even see some split back action with Alexander.

The receiving corps remains talented and should be a strength even with the trade of Jackson. Deion Branch enters as the primary receiver and will run the same routs that D-Jack did the past few years. It wouldn't be suprising for Branch to put up 65-70 catches this season in the West Coast offense. He runs precise, quick routes and has good hands (a big downfall of Jackson). Either Nate Burleson or D.J. Hackett will start as the other receiver. The camp battle thus far has been fantastic as Burleson apparently has been catching everything. Hackett remains a fan favorite and has both size and "deceptive quickness" according to those who know these things. Either way, both receivers will be on the field a lot as Head Coach Mike Holmgren and Offensive Coordinator (puppet) Gil Haskell love the three and four receiver sets. Of course Bobby Engram remains the best threat on third down plays as he simply does not drop balls and Hasselbeck loves to find him over the middle. With those four receivers, it is easy to love the depth at the position. The fifth and sixth receivers will be a combination of Ben Obomanu (who is almost a lock to make the team and maybe see playing time), Jordan Kent (please no), and Courtney Taylor.

The question mark aside from the line is the tight end spot. Marcus Pollard comes in at 35 years old, but a good receiver. Whether he puts up good numbers or not, it seems hard to believe he could be worse for the team then Jerramy Stevens. Aside from the arrests and idiocy, the man dropped a lot of balls the past couple years (nice Super Bowl buddy) and had trouble staying healthy. The most he ever caught in one season was 45 balls in the Super Bowl run and clearly he was a threat. Pollard will need to catch between 30 and 40 passes to be a real threat to other teams and hopefully he does because back up Will Heller sure as hell isn't going to do it.

With age and some question marks, it would be easy to write off the Seahawk offense. Yet they still have one of the top three left tackles in the game, a top ten quarterback, a top seven running back, and depth at receiver. So will they score points? Yes and it will be a lot. So will the other NFC West offenses, but will they be able to stop anyone? Will the Hawks?

Soon to come....

Charlie or Ty?

The national debate ended awhile back as the country fell in love with a chunky offensive guru. No one cared anymore whether the African-American successful college coach had been wrongly let go. All was good again at good old Notre Dame because the Fighting Irish posted a 9-3 season followed by a 10-3 campaign.

All hail Charlie Weis.

Except for me.

Bob Davie posted a 21-16 record in his first three seasons and did not get fired. Tyrone Willingham went 21-15 in his first three seasons and lost his job. Davie is white. Willingham is black. Hmmm. I searched for more answers.

The big knock I repeatedly hear involves Willingham's ability to attract the top flight talent that Notre Dame needed to succeed. Interesting theory, but simply not true. According to scout.com, Coach Willingham posted the #13 overall class in the country in 2002 and the #5 overall class in 2003 while Coach Weis posted the #27 class in 2005 and the #5 class in 2006. The one class Willingham failed with was 2004 where they landed #30. He finished the year being fired. One poor recruiting class apparently gets you fired at Notre Dame. Some say that is fair. I say let's look closer.

The expected depth chart for this upcoming season (Weis' third with Notre Dame) will still have three offensive starters recruited by Willingham and six defensive starters. Last year's 10-3 squad that everyone raved about so much featured nine offensive starters recruited by Coach Ty and all eleven defensive starters. So he can't attract enough talent but his players can go 10-3 with another coach? This fails to include that fact that eleven other players left the Notre Dame program sinced Tyrone Willingham was fired on December 1, 2004, due to their loyalty to him.

This isn't too say that Weis cannot recruit as he certainly can. He had the #11 class in the country for 2007 and thus far has the best class of committs in 2008. But would Willingham have done any worse?

It was Willingham who recruited Brady Quinn, Jeff Samardzija, Darius Walker, Rhema McKnight, Anthony Fasano, Maurice Stovall, John Carlson, and Tom Zbikowski. That talent looks pretty good to me.

The other knock on Willingham involved his ability to win on Saturdays. Everyone loved him up until Saturday. Well in his three seasons, the Fighting Irish posted a 7-8 record against ranked opponents beating Michigan two out of three times. Under Weis, the Irish hold a 3-5 record against ranked teams (beating Pittsburgh, Michigan, and Penn State). Both coaches hold 0-2 records in bowls at Notre Dame.

I understand that 9-3 followed by 10-3 gives Weis an upper hand. But again he did it with Tyrone's players including Brady Quinn who Willingham never got to go the battle with as a starter. Tyrone went with Carlye Holliday and many other Bob Davie players.

Could Willingham have gone 10-3 with his players at Notre Dame last year? Unfortunately we will never know as the Irish administrators decided that Coach Willingham didn't "produce" enough. Wonder what they would have said if he was white.

Big Win

As I subject myself to torturous Wednesday evenings attempting to make shots or even get the ball, I missed the first six innings of the Mariners game yesterday evening. The game stood 5-2 when I commenced my viewing/laundary. As I took a load or two down to the hell room of clothes washing, Felix decided to give up a two-run jack to Garrett Anderson as he hung a slider completely.

Uh oh. Felix meltdown time.

In Toronto two starts ago Felix battled toe-to-toe with Roy Halladay for about five innings and then he imploded. After putting a few on base, Felix needed a strikeout. And he got it. Only the umpire didn't call it a strike. Felix looked so visibly upset that Kenji Johjima actually went out to the mound along with Adrian Beltre. The next pitch led to a two run single. The next pitch? A slider hung for the longest home run Troy Glaus had hit since 1997.

So when Felix hung one to Anderson, I expected the worst.

Only Felix got better. He started dominating. Two strikeouts and a ground out to end the seventh. Strikeout. Strikout. Ground out in the eighth. Felix looked great and with the insurance runs, the game was over. J.J. time.

Not only has J.J. converted 31 out of 32 saves with a sub 1.00 ERA, he also got closer music. Like all awesome closers, J.J. needed a signature song. Thunderstuck. Awesome.

Only something weird happened. J.J. blew it. Big time. After a Orlando Cabrera single and advancing to second on indifference (uh, why is it indifference if he scores on a hit?), Vlad knocked him in. A double play on the next at bat and the game appeared over. But a single and Gary Matthews two run homer later and the game was tied. Awful.

7-7 and feeling as if the loss was inevitable.

K-Rod for another inning and then Shields. The Angels also had Justin Spier back from the disabled list and I knew this battle of bullpens would be difficult. While the Mariners bullpen is strong, the Angels just worried me.

1-2-3 in the 9th. Uh oh.

Sean Green faced two on and one out only to retire both Cabrera and Vlad. Wow.

Then the Mariners had it. After a double by Johjima and Willie Fing Bloomquist (pinch running) advancing to third on a wild pitch, Jose Lopez only needed to hit the ball hard. Or as it turns out, just hit the ball.

John MacLaren put the squeeze on and Lopez missed a fastball right down the middle. If he simply bunted the ball anywhere, Willie Fing would have scored and the game would be over.

Now the M's were destined to lose.

With two on and one out again, Brandon Morrow entered the game. Of course he walked someone and the bases were loaded with one out. Strikeout. Whew. Reggie Willits time. So annoying. Morrow goes 3-2 and I figure there is no way out. Willits just fouls balls off, he never strikes out apparently. And he keeps fouling. Morrow can't throw strikes this many times in a row. Yet he does and Willits grounds out! Huh? I don't know but I will take it.

Two on and two out for the M's. Raul Ibanez is up. Time to get laundary. No way he gets a hit. Yep. I hate him.

After Morrow and Eric O'Flaherty retired the Angels in the 12th, the M's got another shot. And they won in maybe the cheapest way possible.

With two strikes, Beltre hits a grounder in the hole that Cabrera can't do anything with. Nice start. Big Richie Sexson strikes out and the crowd boos. Eat it Richie. Then Jamie Burke turns into a pitch and gets hit. Best case scenario. Two on, one out. Jose Lopez with a chance to redeem himself. And he promptly hits the ball of the plate for an infield single. Bases loaded and Yuni time. Single. Win. Joy.

A loss would have changed the season, I am convinced. Five games back, a blown game. Too much to handle. Now only three games back and momentum. Adam Jones changes everything. Time for the World Series.

The Summer of Sport

Late this past spring Dana and I went out to play a little tennis at Magnuson Park. While witnessing some evasive manuevers from high school students attempting to avoid cops while still holding onto their kegs, we started hitting back and forth. I quickly realized that despite Dana's athletic ability in many areas (she still stands number six in Western Washington history in the steeplechase), a rally in tennis proves to be difficult for the two of us. So I set out to find some good tennis.

I signed up for some adult intermediate tennis lessons with a local pro at Greenlake on Tuesdays and Thursdays. This made the middle of the week quite active for someone who loves being inactive as Wednesdays already featured high flying men's rec league basketball. How is that going you ask?

Well our men's team changed the roster with the summer session. We finished the spring with really only five players (Butler, Tim, Harry Tang, Airy, and myself). The summer brought in new blood as I documented before with Terry the point guard, Nelson the good, and Jeremy the awful. Eight players with me losing far too much playing time. But as summer goes, people didn't show up (Jeremy for three weeks thankfully) and my playing time increased.

We won a game with only four players as Butler re-injured an ankle and I poured in ten awesome points. We lost a heartbreaker last week where Airy went about 2 for 87 from three point range including a potential game-tying shot. My only three of this season carried me that week. Yesterday we won by twenty with only five players and my six point effort. The highlight of the night came as Harry Tang and I exited the building. I asked him about the hot chicks at his work and how it was going. He said that he didn't think hot white girls liked Asian dudes. So no luck.

Needless to say the games are fun sometimes and not others. I don't get to handle the ball as much and my overall numbers are down although my scoring is actually up. Yet I guess best of all, I can play nearly a whole game without wanting to die (my original goal). I feel like I am in better shape despite no loss of actual weight, which leads me to tennis.

I think I like tennis more because it is all up to me. Win or lose. Dominate or suck. No one else gets to make the difference between Agassi-like victory cries and Nadal-like Capri winning second place trophies. So I went to my first class rocking a 1997 Prince Synergy racket with the original strings and grip. That meant flaking black grip in my hand all class and almost no power. But I loved it.

(Note: I also invented a sport this summer called battle running when Dana asked me to run with her. I just started pushing her into things as we ran. Whoever does it the most wins. I dominated).

The volleys were better than I remembered. The groundstrokes stroking. I felt good. My coach gave me a tip on the serve and all of a sudden no one could stop me. But I needed more.



I needed the Federer racket.

So I took a couple rackets out on demo (a Federer Wilson and a Yonex). There was no choice. It only delayed the inevitable. I needed a Federer. And I got it.

All of a sudden I became a man with a racket full of lasers. I beat two people by myself 6-0 in a set. I aced people with serves. I never lost. Never came close. I played a junior in high school and smoked him 6-3, 6-4. Who wants a piece of Debo?

The new racket, the old love. Tennis and me were reunited again. And it feels so good.

Thank You

It's weird when you write an involved blog entry and then what you ask for comes true. Instantly.

On the post game radio show apparently they announced the Jason Ellison will be released and Adam Jones will be called up.

I am either a genius or logical.

Either way, I am tasting a little bit of heaven.

Love you Adam, see you soon.

The Pessimism and the Love

When the Mariners started playing better in May and June, it made baseball relevant in Seattle once again. Despite the fact that last year's version of atrocity stood only five and a half games back in early August, that squad never had a shot at it. They flirted with .500, but not much else. The division struggled along and the Mariners played nice until a 0-11 stretch to spell their annual doom.

This year the Mariners decided to make things interesting heading into the All-Star break. They took three out of four from the Athletics with Jason Kendall and were only one game back in the Wild Card race and two and a half out of the division lead. After splitting a four game series with powerhouse Detroit and taking two of three from Baltimore, the M's headed out to the land of Joe Carter home runs and Maple Leafs. After a series opening win against Toronto, somehow Josh Towers dominated the Seattle line up and the M's lost 1-0. But with Felix going against Doc Halladay, everything could be ok.

But it wasn't.

And it continued to not be ok.

Seven losses later, I was officially worried. Since I spend most of my time being completely pessimistic about this team, I expected the worse. Thank God the Jason Kendall-less A's are worse than the previous version. Three out of four again from the A's and a big series with the Angels. The series finale ended about 14 minutes ago and the M's took two of three to now stand only three games out of first place in the West and only one half game out of the Wild Card with a 59-47 record.

So everything is great again. Not so fast.

This team still worries me. They made a great decision in not trading a top prospect or even major league talent for mediocre relief pitchers such as Al Reyes, Octavio Dotel, or Dan Wheeler. Yet the could have used a starter like Jon Garland. No one knows if the White Sox would even trade him, but the M's need something.

The top three currently are ok. Felix Hernandez (7-6, 3.89 ERA) is pitching better and better with a 4-3 record and 3.44 ERA in his last ten starts. Yet if you look closer, there are some disturbing numbers. Against winning teams, Felix holds a 2-3 record and 5.04 ERA. That doesn't reflect an ace of the staff. He pitched pretty well tonight against the Angels and stood in line to win before a rare blown save by J.J. Putz.

Jarrod Washburn (8-7, 4.11 ERA) seems to look great one night and awful the next. He also struggles against top competition with a 1-4 record and 4.53 ERA against winning squads. With only two starts at seven or more innings in his past ten starts, you can only count on him for 5-6 innings per start.

Miguel Batista (11-7, 4.23 ERA) certainly stands out as the surprise of the staff. With his dominance of the Angels two games ago, he stands 4-4 with a 4.31 ERA against winning teams.

This trio concerns me in a potential playoff match up with the Tigers (Verlander, Bonderman, Rogers/Miller/Robertson), Red Sox (Beckett, Schilling, Dice-K), Yankees (Clemens, Pettite, Wang/Mussina), or Indians (Sabathia, Carmona, Byrd). The Mariners would not have an advantage in any match up.

Yet with a powerfully strong bullpen, the recent concern involves the offense. In the seven game losing streak Ichiro hit .233, Guillen hit .250, Sexson hit .230, Ibanez .167, Kenji Johjima .136, and Lopez .207. Awful. Going outside those seven games, the big time issue centers on Richie Sexson and Raul Ibanez.

Ichiro .347, 75 R, 30 SB
Vidro .306, 3 HR, 35 RBI
Guillen .282, 13 HR, 62 RBI
Beltre .274, 16 HR, 62 RBI
Ibanez .253, 6 HR, 61 RBI
Sexson .200, 17 HR, 54 RBI
Johjima .269, 11 HR, 39 RBI
Lopez .261, 8 HR, 49 RBI
Betancourt .281, 5 HR, 35 RBI

Would it be nice to get more power from Guillen and Beltre? Of course. Would it be great if Lopez and Betancourt could raise their averages a little? Yes. But look at Ibanez and Sexson and this doens't involve splits, OPS, or any other fancy baseball stats.

Ibanez has six homers and he sits in the middle of the line up. I never expect a long ball from him anymore. Sexson simply stinks. The homers mean nothing. In fact, the two homers in July simply don't do much. And Sexson has sucked all year. .145 in April, .232 in May, .235 in June, and .165 in July. Wow. What a joke. How bad is it when Seattle fans boo you? This isn't Boston or New York. You have to be absolutely atrocious to get booed in Seattle. I love it.

Raul's .184 July average to go with no homers also sucks. The answer to the issues? Adam Jones.

How long do we have to wait for this? Bring the man up.

Jones .309, 24 HR, 82 RBI, 73 R in AAA Tacoma.

And don't give me that he hasn't proven anything against Major League pitching. If that proved to be a valid argument, you would never bring anyone up. And under that premise, Big Sexy hasn't proven anything this year either.

Put Jones in left. Ibanez can DH some with Vidro. Broussard needs more playing time and Sexson needs to sit the bench. I asked for this at the All-Star break and the newspapers reported it would happen. Then it didn't. My theory involves Jason Ellison. I think they were going to release him and bring Jones up, but when J-Ell stood up for Ichiro and wanted to fight, they couldn't do it.

Now time is removed a little and no one remembers that Ellison exists, so it is time. The addition could mean playoffs where it will give me an opportunity to worry about pitching match ups. Otherwise I will be pissed off and upset when they don't make the playoffs and will be fully into Seahawks mode.

Get it done.

The Future

So for thirty-eight days I worried. I nervously thought of the wasted picks the Sonics made the past few years capped off by the genius selection of Mohammed Sene at #10 last year. I had more confidence in Lenny Wilkins if he was drunk, blind, tied up, and decapitated than I could have in Rick Sund, but still I felt nervous.

Then the Supes hired Sam Presti from the Spurs. He changed everything. Both in my mind and in reality after today.

I wanted Sam Presti, but I also wanted Marc Iavaroni. Once Iavaroni went to the Grizzlies, I knew the run and gun Phoenix Suns style would be out the window. I should have known that the minute they hired Presti. He grew up in the San Antonio Spurs system. Presti started as an intern and grew into an assistant GM. He wouldn't stand for horrible defense anymore.

Yesterday Presti basically said no one was untouchable except the number two pick. And today he proved it by trading Ray Allen, the face of the franchise, to Boston for the number five overall pick, Delonte West, and Wally Szczerbiak. When this trade was announced to the crowd at the Sonics draft party, the nearly 2,000 people booed. They are idiots.

Allen did a lot of great offensive things for the Sonics. He shot the basketball better than nearly anyone in the league over the past four and a half years. And he definitely proved to be the go to guy when they needed a basket, usually with a pull up jumper off the dribble or coming off a double screen for a three. Points were not a problem, as they weren't really in general for the Sonics. But Ray Allen is a horrible defender, one of the worst in the league. He rebounds okay and can pass pretty well. And the Sonics went 31-51 with him and Rashard Lewis.

Presti decided to change the whole thing. Kevin Durant becomes the face of the franchise. In fact, only 12 minutes after they drafted him, a commercial aired with Durant dunking on people and the Sonics welcoming him to Seattle while posting the number for season tickets. I nearly called.

Kevin Durant will end up being better than Ray Allen. I think most people would agree with this. But could they have played together? Yes and no. They could have and along with Luke Ridnour and maybe Lewis given up 120 points per game. Now they add West who adds to the backcourt depth while Jeff Green comes in as the number two option to Durant.

They get younger and probably not great next season. But really will they be worse than 31-51? Maybe not.

The Sonics are not expected to re-sign Lewis now, so hopefully a sign and trade becomes possible. And Presti is not done. Rumors still fly about Ridnour (as he is also awful defensively) and Nick Collison. I think this team will look completely different next season and we will see if they are better.

All I know is this, I am trying to buy some season tickets right now. I wouldn't be if Allen and Lewis were here instead of Durant and Green.

We're Back!

Signs of the apocalypse or the most unlikely event to occur in the history of the world.

1. Jeff Weaver throwing a complete game, four hit shutout.
2. Me beating Matt Airy two out of three in P-I-G.

Both happening in the same night? That's quacktastic.

Yes, the Indy Wahoos pulled a Peaches and Herb and reunited for the summer session of men's rec league action. I know you were clamoring for a recap from last week, but it's summer time baby. Things change.

We finished last session 6-2 with an easy thirty point win featuring some hot passes from Harry Tang and myself in the session finale.

With Tim, Matt Butler, Airy, Harry, and myself back in the fold, we were ready to take on all comers in the summer session with an opening double header at Bellevue Community College. Unfortunately our 6-2 record placed us against tougher competition. This became clear to me on the first two possessions. Oh snap, rebound put back. My bad guys. Oh snap, this guy just went by me for a lay in. I mutter, "I can't guard him". Apparently everyone agrees as I am switched off the baller from Bothell.

Oh and we have new teammates. Nelson, a friend of Tim, is better than me and a nice guy. That is fine. Terry is a Jason Terry type player who is also better than me. Except he treats me like I smell of cat feces. So I am luke warm on him thus far. Ah, but Jeremy. Oh Jeremy. He sucks.

Jeremy looks like the womanly guy from "Clerks". And he chucks shots like Kobe, except for he plays like, well....the guy from "Clerks". He quickly became the player we all hope quits the team.

Early on, I get picked near half court, but the defender falls. I dive over him and grab the loose ball. Now sitting on my rear, I look for an open player. It is at this point that my self-esteem plummets. Matt Airy just stands there looking at me like I am an idiot. Terry slowly comes near to get the ball. While a few weeks back I get applause for my hustle, this time I get stares and glares. I now hate my team.

The pace is furious and I am struggling. I box out, I grab a board or two, defend a little, and pass with precision, but it isn't the same. I am no longer the point guard. I am essentially Marty Conlon. Go blend Marty. That is my job. Cut. Pass. Rebound when not dominated by bigger guys. I sub out and feel deflated.

Oh did I mention we are down 27-9?

The game continues even with me on the bench (I know, weird) and I stew like Scottie Pippen when Toni Kukoc gets the game winner called for him.

I get back in and we go on a little run. Tim goes to work inside. I hit a deep jumper for two. Time to get busy.

Then I get subbed again. What is going on? Are we watching the same game?

(We actually are as I am exhausted and barely making it up the court. This other team is phenomenal).

Halftime comes and everyone has a solution. Terry suggests a 1-2-2 zone with him running around like a chicken with his head cut off. He also asks what we want to get done on offense. I want to say, "Hey Terry, it doesn't involve standing in one spot and telling me where the hell to go". Clerks dude wants more shots. We are a mess.

The game continues and we go to the rack hard, but don't get calls as we have a repeat ref who might be retarded. I don't use that word lightly, so you know that I am serious. If you remember from a previous blog, he is the fat white guy from a CBS show. Nobody knows his name just like this ref.

As we creep back within nine as I am on the court, it is clear my value is going up. In fact, I think my plus/minus ratio is off the charts. I cut continually on offense, but get no looks. I can't get any love. Still 1-1 from the field.

After getting subbed out, understandably we start to suffer. Jeremy takes his 20th shot of the game and it hits nothing. We almost stone him to death. If only we had some stones.

Down by thirteen or so late in the second half, Airy calls for a foul. No call. Oh wait, yes there is a call. Technical on Airy. Terry asks for an explanation from the bench. Technical. Terry, you aren't a coach. Stop talking. I want to shoot everyone. Then Mount Airy explodes. He kicks himself out of the game while taking a swipe at the ball, telling CBS ref that we pay for him with our fees. This game is out of hand.

Of course I am on the bench. Clearly I am the glue. Just call me Elmer. Although I assume Butler just didn't want me getting hurt late when it didn't matter as he subbed in for me with four minutes left.

We lose, I am dejected and it is clear we aren't having as much fun. People say we need time to gel. Others say that was a good team. I am less optomistic. I don't see fun entering the equation for a long time.

Then Harry Tang saves the night.

With our second opponent a no-show, we all sit around talking. I ask Harry what he does for a living. He responds.

"I'm a buyer for Paper Zone".

Of course you are. Well, how do you like it Harry?

"It's ok."

Ok. Riveting.

Then...

"There are a ton of hot chicks that work there."

Yes. Harry Tang.

"I interviewed and didn't think anything and then I show up the first day and I am like 'holy s&^*, where the f*&# did all these hot chicks come from?'"

I am soaking it in like sunshine and butter mixed together with a touch of honey.

"I always tell my friends to meet me for lunch so that I can introduce them to all the hot chicks. It is pretty good because the guy who runs the branch just hires hot girls. There is only like two other guys and one of them is gay, so he doesn't count".

I love you Harry Tang.

The night feels complete. I feel so good that I take Matt Airy on in some P-I-G. With Clerks Dude still lurking, he wants in. Won't this guy just die or something? He should just go play 21 with the Bruce Lee twins at the other end. And no that isn't racist. These two Asian guys look just like Bruce Lee and they are wearing matching outfits including shoes, pants and wife beaters. They snuck in the back door and just started playing one-on-one and at one point argued at each other in Chinese. Fists of Fury in the house!

We start out with some simple three pointers. Airy and I hit our first three shots. Clerks misses them. See ya sucker. Don't forget to turn the coffee off before you leave the store.

As we progress, I somehow beat Matt (a far superior shooter). He is phased by the double T's, the missed swipe at the ball, the poor shooting, women, school, and me being better looking. After losing the second game, it comes down to an one letter showdown. The bank three feels good. I hit it. He misses. He asks me to prove it. And it goes down. Champion.

P-I-G and Harry Tang. Can't get better than that.

Who's Watching?

Is anyone actually watching the NBA finals?

I am a basketball coach, fan of the NBA, and a labeled "sports computer" by my girlfriend and I simply do not want to watch.

I tried a little bit last night, but the score was 51-50 with one minute left in the third quarter. Wow.

Apparently I am not alone. Game 1 drew 8.18 million viewers. In comparison, "Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?" drew 9.14 million viewers and "So You Think You Can Dance?" drew 10.86 million.

Game 2 did even worse, drawing only 7.69 million viewers. Most were likely watching "The Sopranos" like I did. (Fade to black followed by yelling and throwing things). "60 Minutes" dominated the Finals as did last year's match up between Dallas and Miami (12.41 million viewers).

Game 3 which bored everyone, even when it was close at the end, drew 8.00 million viewers only to be beat by "Law and Order: SVU" repeat at 8.82 million. Of course, everyone watched "America's Got Talent".

So why would you watch?

LeBron.

Not enough for me. I think he could score 187 points in Game 4 and I still wouldn't watch.

And it continues...

Just as I thought I had jinxed it all, they did it again.

The 2007 Seattle Mariners have done something many of us thought they couldn't accomplish. And by many of us, I mostly mean Ravi.

Ravi continually states that I will be done with the Mariners and onto the Seahawks every time I send him a complaining email about the M's. Except for now it is June 13th and at 35-26 and only three games out of first place the Seahawks couldn't seem more irrelevant. Just for fun:

June 13, 2006 - 31-35 (3.5 games out of first) - huh?

June 13, 2005 - 26-35 (10 games out of first) - yes

June 13, 2004 - 25-36 (12 games out of first) - awesome

June 13, 2003 - 44-21 (first place) - dear lord

Four years ago, life was awesome. And now it is awesome again.

And yesterday was insane.

I was out to dinner with Dana and her sister's family so the first eight innings almost didnt' exist in my mind. I saw the Cubs jump out to a 2-0 lead and then noticed a 2-2 score before getting in the car just in time to hear Michael Barrett tie the score at 3-3 in the eighth inning. Of course this was followed by a long double and with no outs, I couldn't take it. The radio turned off.

Moments later I turned it back on to hear Brandon Morrow walking Cliff Floyd intentionally. As I got out of the car and ran into the apartment, apparently Morrow got a guy out. Now with one out and still the bases loaded, it became George Sherrill time.

Strikeout of Felix Pie.

By the way, Pie sucks. Any ball that is near the inside corner he jumps out of the way. He is the kid in Little League who is afraid of being hit so he cowers in fear. Oh that kid was me just so you know.

Strikeout of some dude name Fontenot or something. Obviously that guy sucks also.

Somehow then I got to watch another five innings of baseball as both teams escaped mini jams and relied on pitchers who shouldn't be getting outs. This brought us to the magical 13th inning.

Jose Vidro, who replaced injured Adrian Beltre and played in the field for the first time all season, absolutely mashed a ball to left field. But because he is Jose Vidro it bounced off the ivy for a double. I actually felt a bit of shock that he made it to second. See if Jose Lopez eats cheeseburgers between innings, then Vidro eats chocolate cakes dipped in Spam and lard. Oh and add on the fact that his knees are non-existent and you have a slow dude in "scoring position". Hard to call it scoring position with all that lard dripping down your chin.

Lou Piniella intentionally walked Yuniesky Betancourt. Recognize! And Willie Bloomquist came to the plate. If you don't quite understand my feelings here, please read the previous blog entry. Of course Willie came through with a single to right field. And the hilarity ensued.

Vidro put down the cake and started to round third to go home, only third base coach Carlos Garcia put up a stop sign. Vidro, confused by Garcia's signals thinking he simply wanted some of the cake, wanted to get away from Carlos as soon as possible. Get your own cake Los! After a stop-start bone-grinding pause action, Vidro started chugging home. By this time, Jacque Jones had picked up the ball, ran into the dugout to relieve himself, got some new seeds, found a date for after the game in the bleachers, and thrown the ball home where Michael Barrett waited with a smile. Vidro, knowing how long it would take him to get up if he slid, decided to tip toe around the plate. At this time, Barrett thought he saw Carlos Zambrano running at him so he dropped the ball as he attempted to tag Vidro. Thinking the plate was made of lard, Vidro stepped lightly on the back side for a safe call and a 4-3 Mariner lead.

Yes, this actually happened and yes, it seemed as strange as it sounds.

Jamie Burke, back up catcher, drove in an insurance run and JJ Putz closed out the game despite apparently having the flu. And as the team congratulated each other, Putz did look like he wanted to puke on Bloomquist. Which would have been awesome.

Another improbable victory and another day longer enjoying baseball season.

Ichiro, Cheeseburgers, Jason Kendall, and no arms

I've wanted to write about the Mariners for days now. Yes, there are other things going on in sports such as the NBA Finals (seriously, can anyone really watch it?) and the French Open (capri pants boy is another story), but when your hometown team plays well it is hard to pay attention to anything else.

But I waited for a loss. I waited for something to make me mad. I didn't want to jinx it. And maybe this will jinx it, but I can't hold it in anymore.

34-26. The Seattle Mariners. One game out of the wild card. Four games out of first. In June no less!

It is one thing to beat up Texas and Baltimore, but going into San Diego for a sweep and following it up with a crazy 8-7 win over Cleveland is something else. The M's won 8 of their past 9 games thanks in part to Jose Lopez, Raul Ibanez, Ichiro, and JJ Putz and a team that simply will not quit.

In six of the eight wins, the Mariners trailed or tied their opponents in the seventh inning or later and went on to win. With Seattle down 4-3 in the 8th against Baltimore, Betancourt (yes! I love you!) singled home the tying run and Ichiro doubled home the winning run right after that. Ichiro followed those heroics by doubling home the winning run the next night as the M's came back from a 5-1 deficit in the 7th inning.

San Diego brought new challenges with their stellar relief corps, but it didn't matter much to Seattle as Ibanez homered in the 11th to win game one of the series. This marked Raaaauuuuuuul's second home run of the season which means that he either is old, hurt, or needing steroids again. More on this later.

The M's continued their disregard for the apparent strength of the Fathers with a furious comeback in game two. Ichiro (seriously, walk him) knocked in two runs and Lopez knocked in a run with a single in the 7th to cut the lead to 5-4. The eight brought in Scott Linebrink and his 1.88 ERA. Well Richie Sexson took a big fat crap on that ERA with a solo home run to tie the score. Lopez decided to remain productive with a RBI single in the ninth despite his propensity to eat cheeseburgers between innings (not sure if true, but his chubiness leads to the conclusion).

By the way, Jeff Weaver started this game and actually retired 11 batters in a row at some point. Once this happened I thought three potential outcomes to the universe:

1. We all die by either astroid or e coli outbreak

2. Weaver switched uniforms with his brother Jered

3. The Fathers felt really bad for Jeff so they starting sucking more than usual

I think three is the most likely as I and you are still alive. Anyway game three provided more heroics as the M's trailed 3-1 in the 7th. Except stupid relief pitcher hit Ben Broussard with a 0-2 pitch and runners on second and third. Now the bases were loaded and that silly Ichiro came to the plate. Hmmm, wonder what happens? Two RBI single of course as he thinks of his next hilarious quote. (In case you missed this gem, apparently Ichiro was not excited to go to Cleveland).

"To tell the truth, I'm not excited to go to Cleveland, but we have to," Ichiro said through an interpreter. "If I ever saw myself saying I'm excited going to Cleveland, I'd punch myself in the face, because I'm lying." (Seattle P-I)

The ninth inning belonged to one Willie Bloomquist as he grounded to third but beat it out for a single. Then after being bunted over, stole third base and scored on a Lopez (cheeseburger, cheeseburger!) RBI groundout. See that is perfect for Jose. You drive in the run, but still have time to go eat a delicious cheeseburger instead of a stupid single where you have to run the bases.

Putz closed out all three games as he continues to dominate. He might be the best closer in baseball with a 1.23 ERA, 0.58 WHIP, and 18 saves in 18 chances while walking only five and striking out 31 in 29 1/3 innings pitched. Automatic.

Now with wins coming out of their ears, the M's head to Cleveland in a classic one game series made up for a snowout game in April in which Mike Hargrove successfully convinced the umpires to call the game despite Paul Byrd throwing a no-hitter and having two outs and being one strike away in the fifth inning. See, a classic.

Apparently Raul found a new pack of syringes as he homered twice early and the M's built a 7-0 lead. I should note here that Ibanez states that he had an injured shoulder this season and it recently returned to 100% health on May 29. Since that date, Raul is hitting .345 with three of his four home runs this season. The only issue is that he also received a package with a return address of "Bonds, B." on it also on May 29.

Anyway the Mariners decided that they were bored or scared of the multitude of seagulls engulfing the field last night so they blew it and the Indians came back to tie the game 7-7 in the 8th. Raul drank a protein shake and came through with a RBI double in the ninth inning and Willie Bloomquist scored.

This brings me to my next point. I hate both Jeff Weaver and Willie Bloomquist. Yet how do you hate people that actually produce? Granted Weaver only did this for four innings before leaving the game due to back pain thus still remaining among the hated. But Bloomquist actually provides value as he hit .409 during this stretch of games and helped win at least two of them with big games. Man hating people is hard work!

On to people I don't hate like Ichiro. He now stands first in hits (82), fifth in runs (48), third in steals (17), and fourth in hitting (.337) in the American League. But more impressively are his clutch numbers.

.378 with runners on

.421 with runners in scoring position

.429 with runner on third and less than two outs

.625 with the bases loaded

.412 with men on and two outs

.429 with runners in scoring position and two outs

.379 close and late

Ridiculous. Hey, just for fun let's compare this to Jason Kendall of the Athletics.

.229 with runners on
.204 with runners in scoring position
.200 with runner on third and less than two outs
.333 with the bases loaded
.235 with men on and two outs
.190 with runners in scoring position and two outs
.163 close and late

That was fun. Look John Lackey is doing what all A's fans would like to do.

The M's still face an uphill battle as the A's (3.11 ERA #1 in AL) and Angels (3.85 ERA #3 in AL) dominate on the mound. And Seattle does not dominate on the mound, at least in terms of their starters. Felix isn't so ace-like right now with a 3-3 record and 4.41 ERA. Washburn rolls out a 5-5 mark with a 3.94 ERA, but has been awful the past two starts. Batista spends more time writing poetry than pitching effectively hence the 5.48 ERA (despite a 7-4 record including a win pitching one inning of relief at San Diego). Baek used to be sort of good, but a 5.22 ERA evokes images of Jae Seo. We know about Weaver.

In fact the starters made it through seven innings only once in this nine game stretch of dominance and that was Ryan Feierabend who is now back in Tacoma. Thus the bullpen has been stretched and stretched again like Mel Gibson in the end of "Braveheart". FREEDOM!

Henceforth three relievers are now on the DL (Sean White, Jon Huber, and Chris Reitsma) and Putz couldn't work yesterday. With Jake Woods and Jason Davis effectively sucking at their jobs, this leaves Eric O'Flaherty, Brandon Morrow, JJ, Sean Green, and George Sherrill to dominate. But if the starters can't give them some rest, all of their arms will fall off. And as you may know, pitching becomes increasingly more difficult when you don't have arms. Just look at Jim Abbott's career stats and he was only missing a hand.

Jim Abbott 87-108, 4.25 ERA. Now imagine what he could have done if he didn't have to spend all that time switching his glove around.

What's the point? The Mariners are on fire and competitive. But it won't last long if the starters don't step it up. Here's hoping Jarrod Washburn starts it today against the Cubbies.

Rec League Action

I stated during the first week of this men's rec league experiment that my only goal was to not die. To literally not end my life as I ran up and down the court.

Granted this was a slight exaggeration as I (a) do not eat McDonald's everyday (b) can run a little and (c) have some athletic ability. I also had no idea how horrible some of the players in our league would be, thus the comparison actually brought me confidence and the will to live. With a 5-2 record heading into last night, we needed a win to feel good again. We also need our scorer back and he showed up, although he didn't really score as much.

Knowing we had a 9:30 start time, I needed to get prepared. I jumped rope at practice for Prep and did some shooting (making quite a few), as I fully ignored my actual duties as a coach. Once I arrived home around 6:00, I knew I still had plenty of time. After two bowls of Organic Raisin Bran, I felt the need to rest. So I took a nap until 8:30. Feeling refreshed and alive, I set off to the gym at a time when I normally feel like sleeping for the night.

My shot still felt good in warm ups as we prepared for a late night battle. I started at point guard again as we only had six guys. Which if you remember correctly is one more than last week during the grueling, horrific double header.

Early on it was obvious this would be a tough one as the opponents came to play. With some solid guards and decent post players, as well as actual physical fitness and athleticism, this would be a nice match up for us. The spread seemed accurate listing us as a two point favorite.

With the other team in a zone, I had plenty of opportunities early to fire up threes. And I did so, only I didn't make any. I decided to make up for it on defense as I dove for a loose ball early, piling on top of some dude. Getting an early floor burn always fires up the squad. (By the way, I actually got floor burns which kind of hurts). We trail by 5-8 points for most of the first half as they get some easy buckets in transition. This is due mostly to their point guard who resembles a white Brian Jones from the Santa Clara days. Not in appearance, but definitely in demeanor. He also made me feel stupid the sixth or seventh time down the court. Early he would just stand there and pass over the defense. Seemed easy enough. Only this time he dribbled down and exploded on a quick crossover, leaving me standing on my heels and feeling like I pooped my pants.

Akon, our short somewhat retarded guard, looked more winded than usual. My guess involves some sort of alcholic debauchery the night before. I knew I needed to step it up. Fortunately I could do this due to either becoming more fit now in the eighth week or the nice nappy before the game. I hit a dribble pull up to get me on the board. We start to creep back in it.

My next basket surprised me the most. As Tim catches the ball on the low block, he gets doubled and I cut to the opposite side. He actually passes it to me and I go up for a lay in with a guy right next to me. Usually one of three things happens:

1. I get blocked with the ball usually then hitting me on the back or head and going out of bounds.
2. I miss out of fear of scenario #1.
3. I feel like I get fouled but because I look like such a woman when I do it, no ref gives me a call.

This time I made the lay in and it looked nice. It was weird.

With the three still not falling, I still felt confident. Which is also weird. I am such a self-depricating, low self-esteem basketball player that it actually makes me worse. Out of all the sports in the world, I think basketball and shooting in particular requires the most confidence. Today I had it despite my misses. I just felt good.

I boxed people out. I grabbed loose balls and then avoided defenders with swift around the back moves. I limited my turnovers. I actually thought while I still had zero points that I might be playing my best game. And I credit the nap and/or improved fitness. This must be what it feels like to have some sort of cardio fitness.

As the game continues, my game becomes ridiculously good. I hit a mid range jumper (deciding to show myself what I can do, rather than shoot threees and show everyone that I suck) and we are in the lead at this point. The game remains close as I push the ball up the court on the break. White Brian Jones (WBJ) and another defender stand in the way as we have a three on two. With Matt Airy to my right, everyone knows where I am passing the ball including WBJ. Only tonight is the night of confidence so as WBJ sprints to pick off the pass, I keep going and score a little runner in the lane. It is on brotha!

With a one point lead and two minutes remaining, I catch the ball from 15 feet. No hesitation, just water. I feel like Vincent Askew in his prime.

As the game continues, we hold onto our lead but it is tenious. Airy and Tim miss numerous free throws as our opponents attempt to prolong the game. Fortunately for us we have two things going in our favor.

1. They miss shots.
2. Me.

With WBJ barreling down the court and only myself back on d, we need a stop. Preparing to take a charge, he makes a smart decision and pulls up for a short jumper. Due to my intimidating presence and long reach, he misses. We still hold the lead.

Leading by one with only precious seconds remaining, our main man Harry gets fouled in the double bonus. (Side note: since I last called Harry our worst player, he has somewhat dominated. Hitting threes, finishing shots, rebounding, and making free throws. He definitely passed Akon and sometimes passes me in skill level). Swish and swish. Three point lead. Mock! Yeah! Ing! Yeah! Bird! Yeah!

Harry.

With a foul to give, Airy hacks WBJ as he dribbles to half court. He already told his team to shoot if they get fouled, so he throws a pass as Airy nails him. WBJ starts yelling, "I was shooting!" The refs don't buy it and we all want to staple his face to bologna and put it in a piranha tank. They get the ball in and chuck up a prayer. I find someone to box out and do it oh so well. Airy grabs the board and we win by three, covering the spread and feeling joyous in the process.

With my confidence comes results. 10 points, 5 rebounds, 5 assists, 1 steal. Not the best overall line, but the impact I made was monumental.

Current averages: 4.8 points, 4.6 rebounds, 6.8 assists, 2.5 steals. Not bad when your original goal is to stay alive.

As Airy and I left the gym and walked down to the lobby, we heard some strange laser sounds. It turned out to be a weird hippie guy and a chubby girl playing catch with a softball. As we approached, the chubby girl wound up and hurled the ball....straight into the ground. And you thought my confidence was high during the game.

What?

This Jonathan Mayo guy is really starting to piss me off.

After taking my advice (sort of), he now has the Mariners not taking a college relief pitcher with the #11 pick. But instead he gave them this horrible guy.

11. Seattle Mariners: Sean Doolittle, 1B, University of Virginia
It's been generally believed, almost from the get-go, that the Mariners would be looking for an arm at No. 11. But what if none of the ones they liked were there, like Casey Weathers? There were a ton of late rumors about Doolittle shooting up into the top half of the first round, as high as No. 3. With the pitching options not what they wanted, they could go in a completely different direction.Last projection: Casey Weathers

This guy apparently is a "safe" pick, who has very little upside (thank you Hubie Brown). In fact, look at what Mayo says about him.

Today's rumor of the day regarding such a "reach" player is about Virginia's Sean Doolittle. He's a nice player, a two-way standout who most look at as a hitter and not a left-handed pitcher. He's got a good approach at the plate, should hit for average, but hasn't shown much power in college -- most people think of him as a Mark Grace type. Maybe he develops some more pop when he's not worrying about pitching at the same time, but we're not talking major home run hitter here.

No! C'mon someone awesome instead. I am hoping for Beau Mills, Philipee Aumont or Matt Dominguez.

MLB.com...Here I Come! Eat it!

Jonathan Mayo covers the Major League Baseball draft for Major League Baseball and their website. He undoubtedly has more sources than I do throughout the league (as I have none) and may know more about the players in the draft. Ok, he definitely knows more about the players in the draft. But I took issue when I read this projection.

11. Seattle Mariners: Casey Weathers, RHP, VanderbiltIt's been generally believed, almost from the get-go, that the Mariners would be looking for an arm at No. 11. A lot of scouts like the arm of Vanderbilt closer Casey Weathers. A senior, he'd certainly be an easy sign. Too high in the draft for a reliever to go? Perhaps, but with the M's playing decent ball, the idea of drafting someone who could help the big club out in a hurry might be enticing. Weathers is the best of the college closer lot right now and could join Brandon Morrow in Seattle's bullpen very quickly.

No, no, no Jonny Boy! So I wrote him this email:

Mr. Mayo,
You project the Mariners to draft Casey Weathers at #11 due to the fact that he could help in the bullpen right now and they are playing decent ball. An interesting premise, but wrong in my opinion. As a lifelong Mariners fan, I watch them nearly every day. The bullpen doesn't need help.

Closer - JJ Putz 1.42 ERA
RH Set up – Brandon Morrow 1.74 ERA
LH Set up – George Sherrill 1.50 ERA
6th/7th – LH Eric O'Flaherty 3.12 ERA
6th/7th – RH Sean Green 3.29 ERA

Not to mention Chris Reitsma takes over that spot for Green now that he is off the DL and Mark Lowe, a successful hard throwing young set up guy from a year ago looks to be on track to come off the DL around the All-Star break.

So where does Weathers fit in? He may end up being helpful down the road, but with the exception of Reitsma, none of these guys are too old.

I am sure you have sources and inside information, but the premise that he could help right away does not make sense to me.

They are better off drafting a potential starter as they have little to no projected major league talent in the minors (maybe with the exception of Ryan Feirabend, Chris Tillman, Tony Butler, and Justin Thomas).

Thanks for your time.

Sincerely,
Brian Elsner

His response:

Fair enough, perhaps the premise is not correct, and nothing is guaranteed. The only thing I can tell you is that they’ve been on Weathers for a while…

So basically he admits that I dominate. But he also admits that his "sources" have the Mariners taking Weathers which makes me want to stab myself with a rusty screwdriver and then pour lemon juice on the wound.

And the winner is...

Economics provides an unique perspective on many ordinary things that occur in our lives. I wrote my college capstone on the Economics of Drinking in College. A very popular book called "Freakanomics" looks at things such as the decline of crime in the 1990s or cheating in sumo wrestling from an economic point of view. It isn't all about numbers and supply and demand. Sometimes the most fascinating research in the field involves things that no one really thinks about aside from the minds of those like Malcolm Gladwell. And sometimes economics can relate to sports.

Rebecca Sparks and David Abrahamson, from Rhode Island College, wrote an article a couple years back about predicting Cy Young Award winners. While it involves more math equation than anything, they place value on different pitching categories to determine who will win the award each season. And I wouldn't necessarily call it ground breaking either, but it is interesting.

Sparks and Abrahamson chose five categories for their study; wins, losses, strikeouts, ERA, and team win percentage all went into the equation. By looking at past winners, they found out which categories seem to be more valuable to the voters. Wins proved to be most valuable, followed by earned run average and strikeouts. Team winning percentage showed very minimal value and losses seemed insignificant to the voting. This study didn't represent what the authors thought should be the case, only what proved to be reality in voting for the Cy Young award.

As you can see, relief pitchers don't come into play with this study. Although it may not matter. Since 1990, only two pitchers won the award as relievers. Dennis Eckersley won the award in 1992 with Oakland and Eric Gagne won it in 2003 with Los Angeles. Both pitchers posted 50+ save seasons with under 2.00 ERAs, but that doesn't seem to be an end-all-be-all for the award. Gagne also posted 52 saves with a sub 2.00 ERA in 2002 and John Smoltz had 55 saves the same year. Neither won the award.

The equation looks as follows:

W = wins/3

L = 10(15-L/15)

K = 10 (K-50/333)

ERA = 12.5 - 2.5(ERA)

Win % = 20(TWP - 0.25)

Add those together for all the top pitchers, use some sort of math formula after that which I do not understand and you can predict the Cy Young winner. The researchers looked at both leagues from 1993 to 2002 and correctly predicted the top three in each league except for the 1995 American League winner. Also, you can look at just how good each individual pitching season really turned out to be based on the point values. According to this study, the two best seasons in that time were Randy Johnson in 2002 (7.73261) and Pedro Martinez in 1999 (7.54405).

2002 Randy Johnson 24-5, 2.32 ERA, 334 K

1999 Pedro Martinez 23-4, 2.07 ERA, 313 K

While I do a lot of boring, number crunching stuff to please myself in sports, I am not sure I would use this all the time. Am I really going to calculate the top pitchers in each league and see who will win the award? Well, yes, I probably would. But I don't have to!

Rob Neyer and Bill James (yes, the Red Sox numbers guy) created a similar equation to predict the Cy Young race and you can view it on ESPN.com anytime you wish. Their formula looks like this:

Cy Young Points (CYP) = ((5*IP/9)-ER) + (SO/12) + (SV*2.5) + Shutouts + ((W*6)-(L*2)) + VB (see below) Victory Bonus (VB): A 12-point bonus awarded for leading your team to the division champsionship (pro-rated based on the current standings).

See it's easy.

Anyway, looking at old standings from the Cy Young Predictor (as they call it), it is not as accurate as Sparks and Abrahamson. They correctly predicted Johan Santana to win the award last season in the A.L. but chose Billy Wagner in the N.L., where he actually finished 6th in voting. Brandon Webb won the award, but finished 3rd in the James-Neyer rankings.

2005 provided similar results as they correctly predicted Chris Carpenter in the N.L. but chose Mariano Rivera over Bartolo Colon in the A.L. The actual finish flipped the two pitchers. James and Neyer got Santana right also in 2004, but chose Eric Gagne in the N.L. where Roger Clemens finished 1st (3rd in the standings for Neyer/James). It appears that Neyer and James put too much value on the reliever in their formula. If they completely took closers out of their standings, they would have correctly predicted all Cy Young winners except one in the past three years.

Looking at this season then, the A.L. standings are led by John Lackey, C.C. Sabathia, Dan Haren, and Josh Beckett. The N.L. reads Jake Peavy, Francisco Cordero, Brad Penny, and Cole Hamels. From the look at the past three years, you have to dismiss Cordero. So as of now, John Lackey and Jake Peavey will win the awards. Peavey seems like an easy choice, but many would argue against Lackey.

Too bad I don't understand the rest of the Sparks and Abrahamson math or we could find out for sure.

Maybe you can do it. Look here for more information on both.

Sparks and Abrahamson

http://www.aip.org/isns/reports/2005/020.html

Cy Young Predictor

http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/features/cy

Goodbye Kelly

The Seahawks cut Kelly Herndon yesterday. Most of you have now stopped reading.

For those of you who perservered through that opening line, let's look at the decision and how it impacts the team.

Herndon started all 16 regular season games last year opposite of Marcus Trufant, while rookie Kelly Jennings played nickel back. From watching games I grew a great dislike of Mr. Herndon mostly due to the fact the he sucks. It appeared that he continually got beat by second or third receivers on crucial plays right in front of him such as crossing or out patterns. While Trufant sometimes got beat deep by top flight receivers, Herndon got abused by second or third options.

Although according to FieldGulls and Football Outsiders, the Seahawks were #2 against runs to the right side of the defense last year. FieldGulls credits Herndon's sure tackling as a big part of this. Jennings apparently needs to work on this aspect of his game in becoming stronger and improving technique.

This also pushes rookie Josh Wilson to the nickel right away. He could be fine there even at 5'9" since most nickel receivers are smaller, quicker types. Jennings and Wilson should get more help from the safeties this year as well with the additions of Deon Grant and Brian Russell. Early reports from the local newspapers and talk radio indicate that Russell communicates very well and everyone has benefited from it.

If the combination of Patrick Kerney, Bryce Fisher, Julian Peterson, Darryl Tapp, and Baraka Atkins can provide an outside pash rush, then the corners will be even more effective obviously. Fortunately the Hawks open with Tampa Bay, whose passing game shouldn't put too much pressure on Wilson and Jennings. Unfortunately the next few weeks include Arizona, Cincinnati, New Orleans, and St. Louis.

Wiffleball Scouting Reports

With the 2007 Major League Baseball draft only days away, it would make perfect sense to break down the early picks and look at their scouting reports. Except no one really cares. Yet everyone cares about the annual Wiffleball "Mike says his shoulder hurts" Showdown at Nancy Ryles Elementary School.

With this historic occurance only one month and twenty-four days away, it is time to look at the scouting reports on the potential players.

Player Name: Adam Nakatani Street
Position: SD
Height: 6'3"
Bats: Right
Throws: Worse

Physical Description: Big, right-hander with upper cut swing.

Pitching

Fastball: Straight and easy to hit

FB Movement: Sometimes can't hit the lawn chair, making him frustrated.
Slider: Has no idea how to throw one.

Changeup: Lob pitch when trying to get a strike.

Control: Inconsistent. When missing, likes to pitch to contact meaning lots of runs.

Poise: Usually more worried about the barbecue and/or Nike stuff, so remains fairly poised during wiffleball. Can get frustrated by lack of being good.

Hitting

Contact: Not a worry to him.

Power: When he connects, the ball flies. Definitely swings for the fences.

Overall: Hit or miss. Very Sosa-esque. White Michael Jackson spot can be distracting to pitchers.

Medical Update: Can beat me up.

Strengths: Power swing, indifference toward the game

Weaknesses: Pitching, strikes out, giant toes

Summary: Good overall player who hits homers in bunches. Also has a nice car and sweet house, making him more valuable than usual.

Player Name: David John Dunch

Position: Frustrated by Ravi
Height: 5'11"

Bats: Right

Throws: Right

Physical Description: Apparently Italian although I swear Latino

Pitching
Fastball: Better pace when he gets pissed off

FB Movement: Good movement low and outside when hitting his spots.

Curve: Nice offspeed change of pace. Can get raked when he hangs it.

Slider: Good break, likes to toy with different grips.

Changeup: Takes pride in the circle change despite its ineffectivenes to awesome players like me.
Control: Good usually. Once he starts walking people, he throws meat balls down the middle.

Poise: Good in innings 1-3. Starts to get frustrated by walks and/or strikeouts and/or singles. If he walks people and doesn't hit homers, he will get visibly perturbed in innings 4-6. By inning 8, Ravi will have broken him down due to dancing, one-handed swinging, walks, and Ravi-type theatrics soon to be determined.

Hitting

Contact: Good contact hitter, will foul off pitches.

Power: Better in college, losing some of the power ala Raul Ibanez. Good when he doesn't try.

Overall: Over the course of 7-8 years, the most consistent hitter of the group.

Medical Update: Can also beat me up, but really worries about sun taning during games.
Strengths: Fielding, contact swing, length of shorts
Weaknesses: Ravi

Summary: An early pick, good overall skills. If Ravi wasn't involved would consistently be a MVP candidate.

Player Name: Ravi Sankaran

Position: Indian Chris Farley

Height: 5'9"

Bats: Terribly

Throws: Surprisingly Worse

Physical Description: Uh, Indian Chris Farley. Enough said.

Pitching
Fastball: Not fast, easy to hit. Probably a palmball is more correct. If not careful, will hit you in the face or back with some speed though.

FB Movement: None

Slider: Doesn't think it exists.
Changeup: Even slower (amazingly) and tails off before reaching the plate.
Control: None.

Poise: No issue here. Probably the most poised terrible pitcher I have ever seen. Enjoys wiffleball despite a career ERA approaching 34.00.

Hitting

Contact: Much better with one hand.
Power: Suprisingly. He will absolutely mash the ball out of no where at times. Cannot be predicted.
Overall: Good hitter. He will not swing at your pitches, you must give him something he likes. Very streaky. Can hit with pop.

Medical Update: Giver.
Strengths: Mind control.
Weaknesses: The actual game.

Summary: A glue guy. Cannot be stopped once he gets in your head. Must remain calm when opposing him or playing with him.

Player Name: Drew MacGuire Milam

Position: Whiner

Height: 6'3"

Bats: Right

Throws: Lobs

Physical Description: Big, right-hander with no velocity.

Pitching
Fastball: Doesn't believe in it.
Slider: Nope.

Curve: Nope.

Changeup: Yes, very slow and lobbed to the plate.

Control: No worries. Read changeup line again.

Poise: Starts out fine, but gets pretty pissed off after double digit inning.

Hitting

Contact: All or nothing.

Power: When he connects, the ball dies in the outfield.

Overall: Usually upset at everyone, thus swings at pitches in the dirt or at his eyes.

Medical Update: Bigger than me.

Strengths: Intramural sports such as football and bowling
Weaknesses: Wiffleball

Summary: Probably will not play after reading this.

Player Name: Joe P. Tone

Position: Left Out

Height: 4'3"

Bats: Right

Throws: Angry
Physical Description: Midget.

Pitching
Fastball: Throws as hard as he can, as if angry at the world for calling him short and insignificant.

FB Movement: Hard to see since he usually throws from two feet closer than anyone else.

Slider: Throws some nasty stuff when mad.
Changeup: Doesn't like it.
Control: Inconsistent. When missing, throws harder. Sometimes it is better to just take.
Poise: Awful. Ravi can completely take him out of the game. Also, college days were scarred by a woman wearing Winnie the Pooh overalls. No one knows how that effects him now.

Hitting

Contact: Doesn't care.

Power: All he cares about. Hitting the ball as far as possible as if to prove he actually is above five feet tall.

Overall: Good hitter, but has been out of the game for years.

Medical Update: Can't beat me up, but would try.
Strengths: Anger toward everyone. Throwing hard.

Weaknesses: Ravi again, height

Summary: Good overall player who plays angry thus ruining the game for everyone involved.

Player Name: Dick Michael Rasay

Position: Complaining

Height: 6'1"

Bats: Both

Throws: Both

Physical Description: Unbelievably fit Hawaiian with red mark on cheek

Pitching
Fastball: Easy and slow

FB Movement: Better left handed tailing into righties

Slider: Wouldn't know about that.
Changeup: When arms starts to hurt (or so he says), ball gets slower and even easier to hit

Control: Inconsistent. When missing, likes to complain about arm pain.
Poise: Usually ok with own limitations, but loses all poise once fake arm injury occurs.

Hitting

Contact: Head flies, lots of whiffs.
Power: When he connects, the ball flies. Nice uppercut.

Overall: No Benny Agbayani.

Medical Update: Can beat me up, but wouldn't as he loves me too much.
Strengths: Athleticism, love of Gatorade thus staying hydrated

Weaknesses: Even bigger toes, fake arm injuries

Summary: Anyone who fakes arm injuries year after year can't be that good.

Player Name: Brian Michael Elsner

Position: Receiving Apparently

Height: 5'9"

Bats: Right

Throws: Right On Target
Physical Description: Chubby, bald, hairy

Pitching
Fastball: Deadly accurate, sometimes not enough movement

FB Movement: Varies, but can be very straight and taken yard.

Curve: Throws different versions, mostly keeping hitters off balance.

Slider: Best out pitch, painting the corners.
Changeup: Can get hammered or absolutely fool people.

Control: Ridiculously good to a fault.
Poise: Gone once someone scores. Takes pride in ability to pitch in wiffleball games. Feels like he is worth nothing to society once the other team scores off him. College days were riddled with mental issues due evil woman.

Hitting

Contact: Ok depending on the year.

Power: Apparently did HGH last year as he cranked homer after homer. Usually not a concern to opponents.

Overall: Can be deadly or awful. Depends on the fragile mental make up of the player each year.

Medical Update: Diarrhea a concern.

Strengths: Control pitching

Weaknesses: General mental state, Hawaiian food

Summary: If healthy, very productive. If pooping every five minutes, not so much.

I Hate The A's

I hate the Oakland A's.

It didn't always come naturally and it never really sunk in until a few years ago, but I truly hate them. And that is a good thing. Every team needs a rival. The Yankees have the Red Sox. The Giants have the Dodgers. The Diamondbacks have the Suns. And so on.

The Mariners have the Athletics. Not that anyone else really considers it a rivalry, but I do. And with this rivalry comes extreme hatred. Utter despise of that team.

Growing up the hatred festered inside, but never came out. Jose Canseco and Mark McGwire bashed forearms. C'mon, how stupid is that? Rickey Henderson loved himself. Dave Stewart dominated. Bob Welch won 27 games? Now they were really starting to piss me off.

Then it happened. Ken Phelps. The former Mariner hits a two-out ninth inning solo homer off Brian Holman to ruin a perfect game. Now the hatred starts to show itself. I begin to look at elephants differently as if they are the enemy. I see yellow and green as puke colored pigeon poop. Everything Oakland needs to suffer.

College arrives and I meet David Dunch. A good guy, smart, good looking enough (heterosexually speaking), but an A's fan. A dirty dirty A's fan. He grins smuggishly every time Miguel Tejada hit a home run or Tim Hudson struck out Bret Boone on a nasty splitfinger. Hate, hate, hate.

Then it got even worse.

We started going to Mariners-A's games. The A's fans are the worst. Bigots, brainless, and annoying. They throw batteries and quarters at Ichiro since he is Japanese. Not an exaggeration. They love the dirty, grimy white guys like Jason Giambi and Nick Swisher. Or even worse, Matt Stairs. They wear the ugly green A's jerseys and swing their little flags or bang on their drums. Why the hell are they banging on drums? I don't understand and I hate even more. "Let's Go Oakland!" Shut up, just shut up. You will shut up unless you want a knuckle sandwich.

Then it went from worse to dirty puss scab disgusting.

Mike Rasay started rooting for the A's.

A guy from Hawaii with no affiliation to any team. If anything he should root for the Mets at the time due to the relative success of Benny Agbayani. But no, he jumps on the bandwagon. A skinny, guitar-playing, Hawaiian picks the A's over the beloved Mariners. What is he doing? Claiming that he enjoys rooting for the underdog, stupid Mike joins forces with Dave. Now they both sit in the hate circle.

As time goes on, my hate grows stronger. Swisher = hate. Blanton = hate (despite being my twin brother). Scutaro = really hate. They all suck. They all need to get slapped and kicked in the nuts. So here's to you A's fans (yes, that is poop).

Where Were You?

Michael Jordan played a total of seven games in his first two playoff appearances. The greatest of all-time averaged 35.4 points, 6.0 rebounds, 7.3 assists, 2.6 steals, and 1.1 blocks per game. He shot 47.4% from the field, 22.2% from three, and 84.5% from the free throw line.

LeBron James thus far has played 28 games in his first two playoff appearances with averages of 28.3 points, 8.0 rebounds, 7.1 assists, 1.6 steals, and 0.5 blocks. He shoots 45.8% from the field, 32.2% from three, and 75.6% from the line.

Despite LeBron's success in winning a few series' in the playoffs, not many put King James into Michael's category. Yet. Until last night.

Last night changed everything.

Last night was a friend calling and the first words were, "LeBron is ridiculous". Last night was getting a text message from Ravi about LeBron's game. Last night was the game where you tell your girlfriend about it and she actually gets excited, even saying, "I guess he is taking his throne". Yes I know my girlfriend is awesome.

Bill Simmons on ESPN.com wrote this before last night's game:

Like many others, I'm looking forward to Game 5 solely because of LeBron. Like many others, I want him to shift into fifth gear, hush the crowd, rip Detroit's heart out and make the Vivid Video face after everything's said and done. Like many others, I will be disappointed if this doesn't happen.

Simmons and all of us got our wish. 25 straight points to finish the game and 29 out of the last 30. He was so unstoppable that the Pistons seemed dumbfounded. In fact, their fans looked bewildered after the game. They just sat there in the arena staring out into nothing. It became a game that you had to see. No one cared about Kobe anymore. Billy Donovan became irrelevant. Oden and Durant would have to wait. It was all about LeBron. Simmons and others said it best when they simply stated that you would remember where you were when LeBron dropped 48 on the Pistons.

And you know where I was?

At my step-grandmother's retirement party.

Yep.

Seriously.

And she is great, certainly deserving of a great party. But LeBron's game will haunt me forever. Whenever someone brings it up, I will say, "oh yeah, I saw the highlights since I was at my step-grandmother's retirement party".

At least the shrimp balls were good.

Note: After I wrote this, the tutor in our program at school Melissa walked in and said, "Did you see that game last night?"

I walked away, head down, dejected and said, "no, I had to go to my step-grandma's retirement party".

And so it begins.