Sounders Recap (5/23)

- The Colorado Rapids according to their website apparently live with the motto, “Heart. Pride. Honor.” I think their marketing department watches a bit too much Gladiator.

- With a name like Rapids, I would assume the mascot would be some sort of tidal wave, yet I see a fox of some sort. And it is taunting the Sounders fans in attendance by waving a scarf. After doing some research, I learned a lot of disturbing mascot information.

First, the fox is Franz the Fox. From the website:
The fourth, and newest member of the Rapids Mascots, Franz is a Vulpes vulpes, or as they are more commonly known, a red fox! Franz is a defender, and will wear the Rapids' third kit, as well as the #5 on the back of his jersey. The red fox is native to Colorado and tends to make its habitat near human-populated areas, such as the Rocky Mountain Arsenal Wildlife Refuge, which is adjacent to Dick's Sporting Goods Park! The Rapids chose Franz to be part of their mascot crew for the reason that red foxes are very territorial, very loyal, and extremely quick on their feet as part of their nature.....the same qualities that make a superb defender!

Are you serious? They make him sound like a God. Yet according to National Geographic the red fox will eat pet food or garbage. Enjoy eating garbage Franz. And why is his name Franz? Is Franz a common name in Commerce City (more to come on that later)?

It gets worse.

The Rapids have four fricking mascots. Along with Franz the Garbage Eating Fox, they feature Edson the Eagle (a midfielder), Marco Van Bison (a forward), and Jorge El Mapache who is a stupid raccoon. What is going on?

It gets even worse.

Again from the website.

What Happened to RapidMan?
RapidMan, the club’s former mascot, made the 4th of July, 2007, his official retirement date. After being part of the club since the team's inception in 1996, RapidMan announced plans to pursue other ventures. The Rapids held a Testimonial Match in RapidMan's honor at halftime of the Rapids' July 4 game. In the soccer world, it is traditional to hold a testimonial match in recognizance of a player who gives 10 years or more of service to his club, and as RapidMan had served the Rapids organization for 12 seasons, the Rapids invited in several of RapidMan's fellow mascots from around Denver and the world to participate in the game.

Do they know RapidMan was a mascot? This is really pissing me off. Foxes cannot grip scarves. This is a poor representation of animals for the children.

On to the other notes.

- Steve Zakuani looked overmatched for most of the game. Without Ljundberg and Alonso (who left one minute into the match), he was constantly pressured, double teamed, and beat up. He didn’t respond for much of the match, but did have a couple opportunities late. Makes sense as a rookie.

- Early in both halves, the Sounders had very little possession. When they did, they looked pretty good. And they possessed the ball for most of the last twenty minutes where they had numerous chances but couldn't convert.

- James Riley is very valuable. He wins balls, serves great ones down the sideline and created both goals with awesome crosses.

- Montero scored and assisted the other goal, but he is really a scorer only in my opinion. He lacks the ability to possess the ball and dives way too much. With that said, I am glad he is on the Sounders. Confusing? Yes. Why? I am an idiot.

- Nate Jacqua doesn’t do much, little skills with feet. Never seems to get his head on the ball despite that being his strength. At the same time, he scored the game tier when the game looked all but over. So what do I know? More confusion. Awesome.

- Colin Clarke – I hate. No confusion there.

- Cummings running wild and free down sideline in the first half. Crossing everywhere. Similar to how RapidMan would play I assume.

- Keller – two ridiculous saves. One on Conor Casey header. The other with foot one on one with Mastroeni. Then says, “What the f are we doing?” Except he didn’t say “f”.

- Apparently Keller likes mascots more than I do.

- The Sounders miss Alonso and Ljundberg a lot. And I am Captain Obvious.

- Somehow the Sounders tied this match. Despite the fact that they know have drawn in four straight matches, this was a good result. Without Alonso, Ljundberg, and Evans, this was what they needed.

- On June 20th, the Rapids will be featuring the “2009 Festival of Women”. Do they know how that sounds?