Joe:
Weird. I take myself entirely too seriously, only to have you make ceaseless fun of me while also winning the argument. If Dallas would just flip over a coffee table while Ravi buys penny stocks Naveed rides a stationary bike, we'd basically have my entire college experience wrapped into one email chain.
Interesting that you eq
uate our disinterest in sports we once loved to the quality of play. The Sonics were bad, and the NBA "product" has declined, so you no longer watch. The Giants are atrocious, so I checked out. I actually think that has very little to do with it. We've both happily rooted for plenty of bad teams over the years -- mid-80s Giants, anyone? Santa Clara basketball? Ravi and Brian in Wiffleball? -- and never thought twice about it. The reality, I think, is that our interest in sports has less to do that the physical acts taking place on the field than we realize, and more to do with the characters and other elements of the ongoing story of teams. It's the announcers, the coaches, the stadiums, the interesting players, the lame local commercials that play during timeouts. We have a serious relationship with our teams, and our connection with the rest of the league is filtered through that experience. Once that goes away, we have no context through which to view the rest of the league, so we slowly check out. That's why I checked out of baseball but not basketball or football: LeBron was immediately interesting, and Nate, my friend who played for the Broncos, made them relevant to me. (Although football has so few games, and has so saturated the sports landscape, I think I'd stay relatively interested even without that connection).
Fantasy sports obviously changes that for some people, because it gives them a "team" through which to filter the experience. College basketball is an exception for you, because you're
a coach, and coaches are the stars, and you like to watch Coach K to see which butt cheek he lifts off the bench first when he gets up to make a substitution so you can make sure you do the same. But I suspect if you moved to Phoenix or Chicago or Pittsburgh, you'd have a much harder time staying into baseball than you expect.
My favorite in-person sports moment? Probably when I watched the Giants clinch the division in 2002 and ... oh wait, I had tickets to that game and gave them away to my dad. Which I can't feel too bad about, since my dad's the reason I love(d?) the Giants, but still. That hurt.
Honestly, this is hard. Objectively speaking, it was probably the Ohio State-Michigan game in 2006, with the Big Ten title on the line. Ohio State football games are certainly the biggest, most-hyped, drunkest and sloppiest sporting events I've ever been to, and this was The Horseshoe at full-strength. I sat pretty close to the field, on the wall, and when the Buckeyes won --- clinching a berth in the national title game -- I had to storm the field simply to avoid getting trampled. I was one of the first 20 people to the middle of the field, and despite not giving two shits about OSU football, I was going apeshit, just swept up in the hysteria of the 100,000 Buckeye crazies. Then I crashed an undergrad party and played the congas in a stranger's backyard. Ah, to be sort-of young.
So, yeah, objectively speaking, that had to be it. But sports aren't objective, so that's beaten out by a few more personal moments:
3. Barry Bonds' first home game as a Giant, in which he hit a homerun at a sold-out Candlestick. (Benito Santiago also hit the first homerun in Marlins' history -- and the guy in the bleachers threw it back. I never did decide whether that was the coolest or the stupidest homerun throwback of all time. Strikes me as the perfect time for the ole throw-the-fake-ball-from-your-backpack move, followed by the ole bribe-the-shit-out-of-the-Marlins move. Although the Marlins probably would've offered the dude half their roster and let him keep the ball too).
1(t). SCU-Gonzaga, WCC title game, 1998. Yeah, we lost, but I've never been at a game with so much crowd energy. You literally felt as if the student section was going to burst like a floodwall onto the court start tearing FP Santangelo's flesh from his bones. So. Freaking. Cool.
1(t). Giants-Marlins wild-card round playoff game, 1997. This was basically the same experience: We l
ost, and were in fact eliminated from the playoffs. This was when baseball had the awesomely dumb idea of giving the wild-card teams the first two games at home against the division winners. The ole 2-3 format. It's actually pretty amazing that men smart enough to get jobs running baseball were dumb enough to think that was a good idea.
Anyway, the game pretty much sucked from the start, but the energy of Barry Bonds' first at bat -- 60,000 people, "The Next Episode" blasting, Barry strolling to the plate while thinking about how he would evade taxes and start steroids that off-season -- was the coolest energy I've ever felt at a live sporting event. I'll never forget it.
Goddamn I miss that lunatic steroid-bound ass clown.
You should answer that one as well, but give me your top five, because you've been to a lot of sporting events. But do it quickly, because you also have to tell me this:
Of the Big Four sports -- MLB, NFL, NBA and, of course, MLS -- which do you think you could impact the least negatively if a team was forced to start you and play you a reasonable amount of time throughout a season, and why? Bonus question: Which sport would you pick for me?
P.S. The Cavs just lost Game 3. Here's my new theory: In accumulating the best record with the best layer, the Cavs convinced everyone that they were the best team in the league. In fact, they were the fourth or fifth best team, but LeBron forced them to play with such focus, energy and toughness so consistently throughout the regular season -- when the rest of the teams were routinely taking games off -- they amassed the best record simply by out working everyone. But now, during the post-season -- when everyone is giving maximum effort --- they're hosed. In other words, it's not just a bad matchup with the Magic. They would have struggled just as much against the Nuggets or Lakers, and maybe even the Celtics or Rockets (especially if either was healthy).
Weird. I take myself entirely too seriously, only to have you make ceaseless fun of me while also winning the argument. If Dallas would just flip over a coffee table while Ravi buys penny stocks Naveed rides a stationary bike, we'd basically have my entire college experience wrapped into one email chain.
Interesting that you eq
uate our disinterest in sports we once loved to the quality of play. The Sonics were bad, and the NBA "product" has declined, so you no longer watch. The Giants are atrocious, so I checked out. I actually think that has very little to do with it. We've both happily rooted for plenty of bad teams over the years -- mid-80s Giants, anyone? Santa Clara basketball? Ravi and Brian in Wiffleball? -- and never thought twice about it. The reality, I think, is that our interest in sports has less to do that the physical acts taking place on the field than we realize, and more to do with the characters and other elements of the ongoing story of teams. It's the announcers, the coaches, the stadiums, the interesting players, the lame local commercials that play during timeouts. We have a serious relationship with our teams, and our connection with the rest of the league is filtered through that experience. Once that goes away, we have no context through which to view the rest of the league, so we slowly check out. That's why I checked out of baseball but not basketball or football: LeBron was immediately interesting, and Nate, my friend who played for the Broncos, made them relevant to me. (Although football has so few games, and has so saturated the sports landscape, I think I'd stay relatively interested even without that connection).Fantasy sports obviously changes that for some people, because it gives them a "team" through which to filter the experience. College basketball is an exception for you, because you're
a coach, and coaches are the stars, and you like to watch Coach K to see which butt cheek he lifts off the bench first when he gets up to make a substitution so you can make sure you do the same. But I suspect if you moved to Phoenix or Chicago or Pittsburgh, you'd have a much harder time staying into baseball than you expect.My favorite in-person sports moment? Probably when I watched the Giants clinch the division in 2002 and ... oh wait, I had tickets to that game and gave them away to my dad. Which I can't feel too bad about, since my dad's the reason I love(d?) the Giants, but still. That hurt.
Honestly, this is hard. Objectively speaking, it was probably the Ohio State-Michigan game in 2006, with the Big Ten title on the line. Ohio State football games are certainly the biggest, most-hyped, drunkest and sloppiest sporting events I've ever been to, and this was The Horseshoe at full-strength. I sat pretty close to the field, on the wall, and when the Buckeyes won --- clinching a berth in the national title game -- I had to storm the field simply to avoid getting trampled. I was one of the first 20 people to the middle of the field, and despite not giving two shits about OSU football, I was going apeshit, just swept up in the hysteria of the 100,000 Buckeye crazies. Then I crashed an undergrad party and played the congas in a stranger's backyard. Ah, to be sort-of young.
So, yeah, objectively speaking, that had to be it. But sports aren't objective, so that's beaten out by a few more personal moments:
3. Barry Bonds' first home game as a Giant, in which he hit a homerun at a sold-out Candlestick. (Benito Santiago also hit the first homerun in Marlins' history -- and the guy in the bleachers threw it back. I never did decide whether that was the coolest or the stupidest homerun throwback of all time. Strikes me as the perfect time for the ole throw-the-fake-ball-from-your-backpack move, followed by the ole bribe-the-shit-out-of-the-Marlins move. Although the Marlins probably would've offered the dude half their roster and let him keep the ball too).
1(t). SCU-Gonzaga, WCC title game, 1998. Yeah, we lost, but I've never been at a game with so much crowd energy. You literally felt as if the student section was going to burst like a floodwall onto the court start tearing FP Santangelo's flesh from his bones. So. Freaking. Cool.
1(t). Giants-Marlins wild-card round playoff game, 1997. This was basically the same experience: We l
ost, and were in fact eliminated from the playoffs. This was when baseball had the awesomely dumb idea of giving the wild-card teams the first two games at home against the division winners. The ole 2-3 format. It's actually pretty amazing that men smart enough to get jobs running baseball were dumb enough to think that was a good idea.Anyway, the game pretty much sucked from the start, but the energy of Barry Bonds' first at bat -- 60,000 people, "The Next Episode" blasting, Barry strolling to the plate while thinking about how he would evade taxes and start steroids that off-season -- was the coolest energy I've ever felt at a live sporting event. I'll never forget it.
Goddamn I miss that lunatic steroid-bound ass clown.
You should answer that one as well, but give me your top five, because you've been to a lot of sporting events. But do it quickly, because you also have to tell me this:
Of the Big Four sports -- MLB, NFL, NBA and, of course, MLS -- which do you think you could impact the least negatively if a team was forced to start you and play you a reasonable amount of time throughout a season, and why? Bonus question: Which sport would you pick for me?
P.S. The Cavs just lost Game 3. Here's my new theory: In accumulating the best record with the best layer, the Cavs convinced everyone that they were the best team in the league. In fact, they were the fourth or fifth best team, but LeBron forced them to play with such focus, energy and toughness so consistently throughout the regular season -- when the rest of the teams were routinely taking games off -- they amassed the best record simply by out working everyone. But now, during the post-season -- when everyone is giving maximum effort --- they're hosed. In other words, it's not just a bad matchup with the Magic. They would have struggled just as much against the Nuggets or Lakers, and maybe even the Celtics or Rockets (especially if either was healthy).
They lose in six. The Nuggets lose in 7. The Lakers win the title in 6.
Brian:
Overwhelmed by possible responses, I must first comment on your opening. I do have a history of belittling you to the point of you no longer speaking to me (even if it is temporary), but I think both you and I know that I am funny in only two ways: one is making fun of you and the other is making fun of myself. So thankfully you provided me with the perfect opportunity.
If a team were forced to pay me actual U.S. dollars and had to put me on the field/court, I would most likely be Carlos Silva. Oh snap!
I think that we can effectively eliminate the NFL without question. Can you imagin
e what I would look like in pads? Ever seen the movie “Lucas”? That would be me. Now imagine Ray Lewis breathing on me and saying, “I am going to kill you like I did Bambi on that Saturday Night Live cartoon!” I would poop my pants, call it a day, and just run myself into a wall so I got a concussion. For equally opposite reasons we can eliminate the MLS. That requires skills with your feet that I don’t have, nor do I have the conditioning to keep up with those players. I might be able to just run into small forwards and get carded early on, but they would most likely just dribble around me and then blow kisses to the crowd.
That leaves MLB and the NBA. At first I eliminated the NBA due to my lack of (a) height, (b) quickness, and (c) skill. A trifecta! Yet they don’t really play much defense in the NBA, at least not on the bad teams. So say I made the Grizzlies and played guard next to OJ Mayo. I would just give him the ball and spot up for 15 foot jumpers. I could do that. Yet I think my best bet is right handed reliever for a Major League Baseball team. I assume that my top speed of 51 MPH would confuse hitters so much that they would wail away and miss. I would only face one batter every other game (someone like Adrian Beltre who swings way too hard all the time) and even if they connected, there wouldn’t be enough momentum for the hitter to do much with it. Shouldn’t someone try this? I mean the Mariners currently owe $31 million this year to Silva, Jarrod Washburn, and Miguel Batista. That is absurd.
You would h
ave to play in MLB as well. We already know how basketball turned out for you thanks to your professional journalistic experience.
I think you would be a hitter though. I mean it is has already been done to a certain degree by Eddie Gaedal. You could draw walks and you would certainly piss off many pitchers. You love to swing hard and you would complain about calls all the time. It would be phenomenal. You would swing as hard as you could and lace the occasional soft blooper into left. I can’t imagine a greater spectacle in all of sports.
In terms of my favorite live-in-person sports moments, you remind me that there have been great moments in which my team didn’t win. I had never considered the SCU-Gonzaga game before (in which you affectionately called Matt Santangelo, FP Santangelo, who as we know was a journeyman outfielder), but probably should as it was a blast. I blocked out a good portion of college due to the whole devil woman attraction incident (and by incident, I mean two full years and one year of post-devil depression, not a big deal though……isn’t it amazing someone married me?) so Santa Clara games really can’t be included. Either way, I don’t think anything comes near this top three:
3. The 2001 All-Star Game at Safeco Field.
My father somehow was connected to someone who got us in as volunteers for the All-Star game. Little did I know at the time, our volunteer duties would include holding a Cuban flag on the field as the P.A. announcer introduced the starting line ups for both teams. Randy Johnson and Pudge Rodriguez walked by about five feet away and 45,000 people stared at us as we honored Tony Perez and Communism in general. Of course this was Cal Ripken’s last game and he hit a home run. Even though I never particularly liked Cal Ripken, being part of history was fairly awesome. Not to mention this was part of the 116 win season in which eight Mariners made the A.L. squad and Freddy Garcia got the win with Kaz Sasaki getting the save.
2. The NFC Championship Game
Aside from Luis having seven too many jello shots, this game was awesome. Actually if you remember from previous emails and posts, Luis decided that he needed to listen to Eminem for the entire first half. He missed almost everything. Meanwhile I became fast friends with everyone around me as I literally had never and will never cheer as loud and as long as I did at that game. The Hawks absolutely dominated the Panthers and reached the promised land, only to be robbed by the referees. I will not back down on that and I don’t want to discuss it any more.
1. The 1995 Divisional Series
I combine three games into one here. The Mariners were down 2-0 to the hated Yankees after Tim Belcher gave up a bomb to now convict Jim Leyritz to end game two. The emotion a
nd unpredictability of these three games (thank God for that same format you hated so much) could only be capped by game five. Tied at 4-4, Randy Johnson entered the game as a reliever in extra innings. The Kingdome went absolutely nuts! And then despite his dominance in that era, he gave up a run in the top of the 11th. Yet this was the “Refuse to Lose” season. When Edgar Martinez hit a double down the left field line with Joey Cora on third and Ken Griffey Jr on first, I remember thinking to myself, “Thank God, we tied the game!”. Then Griffey started rounding third and adrenaline shot through my entire body. When he scored, I have never felt so happy at a sporting event (saving myself as my wedding should and does come above this) in my whole life. The guy in front of us threw his shoulder out cheering. We stayed for nearly two hours just yelling and screaming as the entire team came back out on the field after celebrating in the clubhouse. It was incredible.
This was the last Mariner playoff game I attended and 2001 was the last time the Mariners went to the playoffs. As I wrote in an earlier entry, Bill Bavasi ruined the Mariners for four years and probably for another two or three until they can rid themselves of his horrific decisions. With this being said, what sport do you think you could be the best General Manager of (NFL, MLS, NHL, MLB, NBA)? What would be your philosophy to make you successful?
Brian:
Overwhelmed by possible responses, I must first comment on your opening. I do have a history of belittling you to the point of you no longer speaking to me (even if it is temporary), but I think both you and I know that I am funny in only two ways: one is making fun of you and the other is making fun of myself. So thankfully you provided me with the perfect opportunity.
If a team were forced to pay me actual U.S. dollars and had to put me on the field/court, I would most likely be Carlos Silva. Oh snap!
I think that we can effectively eliminate the NFL without question. Can you imagin
e what I would look like in pads? Ever seen the movie “Lucas”? That would be me. Now imagine Ray Lewis breathing on me and saying, “I am going to kill you like I did Bambi on that Saturday Night Live cartoon!” I would poop my pants, call it a day, and just run myself into a wall so I got a concussion. For equally opposite reasons we can eliminate the MLS. That requires skills with your feet that I don’t have, nor do I have the conditioning to keep up with those players. I might be able to just run into small forwards and get carded early on, but they would most likely just dribble around me and then blow kisses to the crowd.That leaves MLB and the NBA. At first I eliminated the NBA due to my lack of (a) height, (b) quickness, and (c) skill. A trifecta! Yet they don’t really play much defense in the NBA, at least not on the bad teams. So say I made the Grizzlies and played guard next to OJ Mayo. I would just give him the ball and spot up for 15 foot jumpers. I could do that. Yet I think my best bet is right handed reliever for a Major League Baseball team. I assume that my top speed of 51 MPH would confuse hitters so much that they would wail away and miss. I would only face one batter every other game (someone like Adrian Beltre who swings way too hard all the time) and even if they connected, there wouldn’t be enough momentum for the hitter to do much with it. Shouldn’t someone try this? I mean the Mariners currently owe $31 million this year to Silva, Jarrod Washburn, and Miguel Batista. That is absurd.
You would h
ave to play in MLB as well. We already know how basketball turned out for you thanks to your professional journalistic experience.I think you would be a hitter though. I mean it is has already been done to a certain degree by Eddie Gaedal. You could draw walks and you would certainly piss off many pitchers. You love to swing hard and you would complain about calls all the time. It would be phenomenal. You would swing as hard as you could and lace the occasional soft blooper into left. I can’t imagine a greater spectacle in all of sports.
In terms of my favorite live-in-person sports moments, you remind me that there have been great moments in which my team didn’t win. I had never considered the SCU-Gonzaga game before (in which you affectionately called Matt Santangelo, FP Santangelo, who as we know was a journeyman outfielder), but probably should as it was a blast. I blocked out a good portion of college due to the whole devil woman attraction incident (and by incident, I mean two full years and one year of post-devil depression, not a big deal though……isn’t it amazing someone married me?) so Santa Clara games really can’t be included. Either way, I don’t think anything comes near this top three:
3. The 2001 All-Star Game at Safeco Field.
My father somehow was connected to someone who got us in as volunteers for the All-Star game. Little did I know at the time, our volunteer duties would include holding a Cuban flag on the field as the P.A. announcer introduced the starting line ups for both teams. Randy Johnson and Pudge Rodriguez walked by about five feet away and 45,000 people stared at us as we honored Tony Perez and Communism in general. Of course this was Cal Ripken’s last game and he hit a home run. Even though I never particularly liked Cal Ripken, being part of history was fairly awesome. Not to mention this was part of the 116 win season in which eight Mariners made the A.L. squad and Freddy Garcia got the win with Kaz Sasaki getting the save.
2. The NFC Championship Game
Aside from Luis having seven too many jello shots, this game was awesome. Actually if you remember from previous emails and posts, Luis decided that he needed to listen to Eminem for the entire first half. He missed almost everything. Meanwhile I became fast friends with everyone around me as I literally had never and will never cheer as loud and as long as I did at that game. The Hawks absolutely dominated the Panthers and reached the promised land, only to be robbed by the referees. I will not back down on that and I don’t want to discuss it any more.
1. The 1995 Divisional Series
I combine three games into one here. The Mariners were down 2-0 to the hated Yankees after Tim Belcher gave up a bomb to now convict Jim Leyritz to end game two. The emotion a
nd unpredictability of these three games (thank God for that same format you hated so much) could only be capped by game five. Tied at 4-4, Randy Johnson entered the game as a reliever in extra innings. The Kingdome went absolutely nuts! And then despite his dominance in that era, he gave up a run in the top of the 11th. Yet this was the “Refuse to Lose” season. When Edgar Martinez hit a double down the left field line with Joey Cora on third and Ken Griffey Jr on first, I remember thinking to myself, “Thank God, we tied the game!”. Then Griffey started rounding third and adrenaline shot through my entire body. When he scored, I have never felt so happy at a sporting event (saving myself as my wedding should and does come above this) in my whole life. The guy in front of us threw his shoulder out cheering. We stayed for nearly two hours just yelling and screaming as the entire team came back out on the field after celebrating in the clubhouse. It was incredible.This was the last Mariner playoff game I attended and 2001 was the last time the Mariners went to the playoffs. As I wrote in an earlier entry, Bill Bavasi ruined the Mariners for four years and probably for another two or three until they can rid themselves of his horrific decisions. With this being said, what sport do you think you could be the best General Manager of (NFL, MLS, NHL, MLB, NBA)? What would be your philosophy to make you successful?
3 comments:
I was also at the OSU/Michigan game, no big deal.
@DM Milam
Fucker.
I was also at the 2001 All-Star Game/Home Run Derby and the 1995 Divisional Series.
Moral of the story: I am awesome.
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