Playoff Action Live

Woke up just in time to watch the start of the Raptors and Nets. Thought about it a little longer and went back to sleep. Woke up again and decided with Dana out at a volunteer event, it would be a great day to have some McDonalds breakfast. Now I am eating candy and it is not 11 a.m. yet. Awesome.

Started watching the Nets-Raps at the end of the first half. Chris Bosh was sitting with two fouls. Jason Kidd was dominating. Although he walks like he is 87 years old. He runs fine, but he walks funny. Richard Jefferson had 15 at half and they were all on Kidd setting him up for dunks.

I can name maybe three Raptors. And with Bosh on the bench, I am searching for answers.

Ah yes, Andrea Bargnani. Wow, he looks like a serious Euro playa.

At halftime, Tracy McGrady yells at Steven A. Smith.

Tracy: "If we don't win the series, it is on me."

Steven: "Wait"

Tracy: "If we don't win, it is on me."

Steven: "Wait, wait, wait"

Tracy: "IF WE DON'T WIN, IT IS ON ME!!!"

Riveting.

Second half begins. Apparently the Raptors do have fans. Maybe because the Maple Leafs didn't make the playoffs? And the strip clubs aren't open yet? Apparently there a lot of strip clubs in Toronto. Gary Payton told me.

Anyway, the whole crowd is in red shirts. Is this the new trend? Miami had the whole White Out thing where eveyone wore white. Does anyone else think this is stupid? It is like they are trying to make it like college but they really can't. If they really want to make it like college, they should reserve a section in the middle of the court for all fans under 30. You have to be under 30 and you have to submit an essay or video on how you will help the hometown NBA team win. You have all the rich, boring stiff people sitting in the first couple rows. They don't know what to do. Just reserve one section. Guaranteed to have big results.

Vince Carter just picked up his third foul, then was called for a moving screen for his fourth foul in the 3rd quarter. Why? Why are they calling moving screens? It only makes sense if you call it consistenly. That is stupid.

Now Chris Bosh is going to work and so is TJ Ford. The Raps fans are pumped. OH CANADA!

The Nets answer back with a Jarron Collins tip in and a Kidd three. Jason Collins is such a loser. Why does he exist? Could one of the brothers worked on his perimeter game and the other one on his post game? Then they could have a procedure to combine their bodies and become the first Siamese twins in the NBA.

Seriously, Jason Collins scored one total point in the last ten games of the regular season. ONE POINT! And he played over 12 minutes in each game and in six of the games over 20 minutes. Seriously, Mikki Moore is out playing you Jason! The East is horrible. Absolutely disgusting.

The Nets are up 12 now, make that 14 as Jason Kidd is now stroking it.

The Raptors are playing Ford, Juan Dixon, and Anthony Parker together. That is some power.

Oh god, Josh Boone is in. I hate that guy. Seriously cut your hair. You look like a transvestite. Unless that is the look you are going for Josh, then more power to you.

It is 78-65 at the end of the third with the Nets leading. Sometimes I don't get NBA coaches. Or maybe it is the players.

The Raptors have Chris Bosh. The Nets big guys are Nachbar, Moore, Boone, and Collins. Read that again.

Give Chris Bosh the ball on the block.

Nope. Instead they are running and gunning. Throwing up wild shots. Which is what the Nets want to do. The pace needs to slow down for the Raptors to be successful. In addition, the Nets are simply working harder on the boards. Those big guys who should not be scoring are grabbing offensive rebounds and the Nets are converting with Vince Carter on the bench.

By the way, when did it become cool to wrap yourself in towels on the bench? NBA guys always put one around the shoulders and then one over the legs. Why does Vince need this? He is wearing tights. And he inside an arena full of people. How could he be cold? Why does this look cool?

Fourth quarter time. Let's see if Sam Mitchell is paying attention. The Nets are leading 42-14 for points in the paint. GIVE BOSH THE BALL.

Ok I changed my mind. They gave Bosh the ball and he shot a fadeaway off the block. What are you doing Chris? Be a fricking man. Next possession they run a pick and pop with Bosh. Calderon takes it to the hoop and misses. Third possession (after the Nets have Vince dribble for 12 seconds and then shoot with Kidd and Jefferson on the bench), the Raptors run a pick and roll and Bosh scores. And another Vince dribble, dribble, dribble, shoot.

The Raptors have the ball and the P.A. is playing "I'm Bringing Sexy Back" by Justin Timberlake. Oh ok.

Just saw a hot pink sign that says "Wince Carter". Oh snap. He is shook.

Calderon hits a three. Jefferson misses and Calderon gets the board. Throws it ahead to Kris Humphries. I am looking for a lay in.

Humphries absolutely rams it and pulls himself up on the rim. What? Wow.

81-75 Nets. Now the Nets are just isolating Carter or Jefferson and shooting jumpers.

Bosh in the post. Two over Collins. By the way, Calderon's three was kicked out by Bosh after a post entry. Interesting how things change when you give the ball to Bosh in the post.

Vince leans into a defender in the air and gets a call. That is such a stupid foul. Bosh kicks out to Calderon. Three-cola!

Calderon to the hoop! Ivan you are nasty! Remember Ivan Calderon? He was sick. 83-82 Nets. Vince is shooting every time and looks awful.



Bosh gets fouled attacking the hoop. Down two. He is going to the free throw line.

Oh wow, another "Wince Carter" sign. So creative.

Vince is 4-18 right now. That makes me Wince Carter.

Bosh its one of two. 84-83 Nets.

Nachbar for three! What? What is going on? And they are calling him Poki Nachbar? Huh?

Oh good, the Raptors isolate Anthony Parker on the baseline and he shoots off the side of the backboard. Great decision. Just ignore Chris Bosh.

Yes, there is some creativity. Vince Carter bibs. I like it.

Nets up 88-83 with 1:49 left. The Raptors are now taking horrible shots and Bosh isn't touching the ball.

The crowd is chanting "Bulls**t". I think they mean "Bullsh**t eh".

The hoop microphone just picked up a fan yelling, "Vince you suck. Take the headband off". Man, they are good in Canada. I mean, where do they come up with this stuff?

Ray Allen just did a WNBA commercial. I am sad. He apparently has like a 13 year old daughter. Apparently that scene in "He Got Game", where Jesus goes to town with those twin blonde girls is dead on. JESUS!

Did some research. Apparently his daughter is 14. He is 32. Who knew? He has three kids and a fiance but no wifey. Ray Ray ain't shooting blanks. If he has 8 more kids, he will catch Shawn Kemp. Awesome.

Back to the game. Vince made a lay up. Now they are talking about how Vince is carrying the Nets. He has scored 8 points in the fourth on 2 of 7 shooting. Just because he is shooting and the Raptors are inept on offense does not mean VC is carrying the Nets.

Big three by Anthony Parker. 94-91 Nets with 12 seconds left.

Vince hits a free throw.

The red shirts many of the fans are wearing say, "Let's go red, Let's go Raptor". What? Who runs these teams? Can I get a job in the NBA please?

It should say, "Wear red as we drink Vince Carter's blood".

Vince misses the 2nd.

Let's go Raptor! Anthony Parker fadeaway airball three. Nets ball. Nice play.

Nets win 96-91. The announcer just said that Vince Carter played well in the 4th. He went 2 of 7 and missed at least two free throws.

He finished 5 of 19. Really shouldn't he just stick to this.