Why Luis is an Idiot

In case any of you read Luis' blog (that would be one person), you may have noticed that it is essentially an obsession with me. I know, fairly creepy yet very much understandable. The most recent entry criticizes my complaints of Reggie Miller.

Well, Luis...you are an idiot.

To quote, "The best announcers have mastered the art of subtlety. They are minimalists. They understand that sometimes the best thing to do is give us a small amount of information and let us do the rest on our own. David Ortiz hits a monstrous home run to win game 4 against the Yankees? We say "David Ortiz!", watch the ball fly away, watch him round the bases, and then follow it up with "We'll see you tonight!" Great stuff. Simple, to the point, it says everything."

I agree Luis. But when Reggie Miller sees a player lying on the floor and says, "Stephen Jackson", that is not mastering the art of subtlety. That is mastering the art of being retarded.

It is one thing if Baron Davis hits a big three and as they go to commercial, the announcer says "Baron Davis!". Everyone loves that. But imagine if Joe Cole is lying on the ground after a tackle and the announcer says, "Joe Cole". Good job, you know his name.

Luis says how much he enjoys soccer announcing because it is simple. Well basketball announcing is the same way, aside from idiots like Reggie Miller. Just like when stupid Alexi Lalas does soccer games.

So once again Luis changes things around so that they can fit his agenda. Which is why he will be a good lawyer.

So you want to know what I want out of my announcers? I want intelligent thoughts or if you aren't going to be intelligent, say something ridiculous a.l.a. Bill Walton who once mentioned that anyone under 6 foot 10 is relatively a midget.

With this being said, here are my favorite NBA announcers:

Play-by-play

1. Kevin Harlan (yells)

2. Marv Albert (biter)

3. Kevin Calabro (two in the cake)

Color

1. Bill Walton (a legend)

2. Snapper Jones (only with Walton)

3. Steve Kerr (says intelligent things)

4. Mike Fratello (the czar)
5. Hubie Brown (the hair and the smarts)

6. Mark Jackson (decent)

7. John Thompson (yells)